Confusing Kisses
by Delta Immortal
Summary: Zell fails on a mission and is rescued by Seifer, but he's not sure if Seifer likes him or not. Seifer isn't sure how to protect Zell when he's on the opposite side of SeeD. update Seifer comes back from the dead. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

Ano.. here's another one.

Disclaimer: Don't own characters, Square-enix does. Hah. The faceless jerk. Much better stuff comes. I promise.

Warnings: … Yaoi and waxplay in another, _later_ chapter.

Pairings: Seifer and Zell

…

Stupid bastards, Zell thought as he felt his body slow down and stop as the spell was cast on him. The only problem with this mission was that he had to be unjunctioned, and that wasn't turning out to well. The man who had cast the spell quickly cast blind and then silence, just in case Zell wanted to see.

Zell didn't want to see. Breaking up this stupid gang would have been hard enough, but this was so not turning out well. He felt a foot and attempted to move, but he couldn't.

The gang members sneered with voices and said nothing much, they weren't supposed to. The leader, or probably the section's leader, grinned as he took Zell's chin and was probably glaring in Zell's blank face. "The boss likes 'em spunky," he hummed into Zell's face, alcoholic breath making Zell want to gag. The leader threw him to the ground, laughing.

He was bitching at Squall for this one, after he was finished being afraid. He'd heard of the boss, of how he liked his… fun. This isn't happening, he thought.

"Get away from him!" came the yell, and Zell wanted to turn, but he couldn't. All he could hear was a struggle, and many, many angry words with bullets, magic, and a bladed weapon. Was it Squall? Had Squall followed him?

Suddenly, Zell realized it wasn't Squall. Squall was still in Balamb. So who would save him in this dark and desolate town?

The final gasp came and a voice called out to him. "Zell?" Oh, Zell wanted to move. He wanted to cry, "I'm here! I'm here!" or hug the person who'd just helped him. There he remained, however, much to his dissatisfaction.

"Oh, Zell," came the worried voice, and a hand on his neck. The man must have found a pulse because he sighed, scooping up the blonde into his arms and holding Zell tightly. "Don't do that to me."

I'm not dead, Zell wanted to respond. But thanks for the hug. When did you get so concerned? None of his male friends would hug him like this.

The man brushed back his hair. "Out cold. You definitely strain yourself too hard, Chickenwuss."

The tattooed blonde would have frozen had he not been so already. Seifer had him, Seifer had rescued him, and Zell was seriously debating whether to wake up and go back to the boss than whatever Seifer had in store. He wanted to scream, to look up and glare at the sneer that had to have been on Seifer's face.

Seifer continued talking. "So, here I am, then. You're knight in shinning armor." Seifer chuckled to himself before going into a fit of some sort, wet tears falling onto Zell's face. Seifer was crying? Seifer _could_ cry?

Holy fuck. Zell was completely unnerved, and it didn't help as Seifer cast a Cura on him, healing bruises and such.

"Oh, Zell," Seifer whispered. "If we'd been so different, we would have had such a happier life… one like she showed me… but…" he trailed off. "I can't just leave you here, can I?"

Zell's head was spinning and he wanted to know what the hell was going on. Maybe he was dead, and this was hell.

"Maybe we could go to dinner, huh? All the bread you'd want. But then you'd…" his voice trailed off. "I don't suppose we have anywhere to go but my place, huh?" Suddenly hands trailed down his arms, and Zell wanted to cry inside. Was Seifer the boss? Was Seifer going to rape him, now in his defenseless state? Seifer's breath had hitched as he moved over Zell's chest.

"So fine, chickenwuss," he murmured before moving his hands up to Zell's neck. Zell calmed a little, but the "So fine" had pretty much made him die. He was going to be Seifer's slave-boy forever, and he wasn't sure if he could live with that.

"And your tattoo, chicken, you had me dreaming about you for weeks. Oh, was there some 'special service' involved?" Hands traced Zell's tattoo, and the fear was gone, replaced with:

_He's been _dreamin' _about _me?

Seifer's face then nuzzled his own, and Seifer inhaled deeply, sighing afterward. "And you smell so good, so edible…" But then Seifer picked Zell's form up, carrying Zell somewhere Zell was sure he didn't want to know.

Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods… his heart was beating rapidly now, trying to ignore how sweet this must have looked to the interested yaoi fangirl. Or what would happen if Squall saw him like this.

They walked for a bit, Seifer in silence, until a door opened and another and then they were still. Zell supposed it was an elevator. Creepily, Zell was starting to notice Seifer didn't smell too bad himself, in fact… He did not just think that.

The elevator doors opened and Seifer went down a hall, opening a door closing it with his foot. The room was much warmer than the hall, and Seifer moved through several doorframes before laying Zell down gently. Zell was afraid and then swore.

Seifer caught his lips in a kiss, passionate yet gentle and not forceful and…cautious. Seifer then whispered a good night and tucked Zell in, and he heard the door shut. Zell's lips tingled and his tongue darted out to try the new flavor.

Seifer had fuckin' kissed him, _kissed_ him without anything in return, without taking it further.

Zell tried to ignore any feelings popping up like annoying voices in his head and remind himself that this was Seifer. And Seifer wasn't making any sense.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own the boys. Own the gang, that's why it's nameless. I do this for feedback, not profit. There.

Warnings: …bleh. Nothing yet, lemme tell ya.

Warnings #2: if you're confused, I tried to sort it out a little more. But if you still don't get it, read the footnotes at the end.

A/N: I've added another two pages to this chapter. :P I'm so proud of myself. The queen of short chapters has kind of longish ones.

Oh, yes. There's yaoi. I love yaoi.

* * *

"Seifer…" Zell whispered, catching Seifer's face with his hands, laughing as they rolled down the hill. "Come on, Zell, I've been gone for a day. Can't it wait?" Seifer laughed as Zell planted kisses along his neck, waiting happily as Zell retreated and hugged Seifer tightly. 

"I missed you, you asshole." Zell snuggled into the warmth of the taller blonde, sighing as Seifer's hands held his back.

"You too, chickenwuss."

Zell sat up in bed, panting. What kind of dream was _that_? He remembered it clearly. Oh, fuck; this entire situation was not going his way. First a failed mission for Squall and now a… favor, he guessed, to Seifer. Seifer had saved his life.

Zell ignored the chorus of why that sang out to him in every way.

He looked around the room. It was dark with no windows, a big bed, and a desk or nightstand. He looked at himself only to find himself in better shape, but in the same ruined clothes. Sighing, he sat back in the comfy bed, happy that Seifer hadn't been that much of an ass. In fact, the kiss was pretty decent.

Zell smacked himself in the head. No, he would not think about these things, especially now. For now, he needed to be calm, he needed to think about how to get out of this gang-controlled suburb, not about what Seifer looked like while kissing.

Zell traced his lips, still able to taste Seifer and he spat them out. He tried harder to not think about how good Seifer tasted or why Zell was all flustered now- hell, he'd always been flustered with that bastard. Yet he'd never noticed until last night about… Seifer things, he labeled them.

Stretching, he decided to get out of bed and opened the door. It must have been late in the afternoon, but Seifer was sleeping on the sofa. There was an "aww" moment and then a "bastard" moment and then a "I wonder what he tastes like" moment and then a "His fist tastes funny." Zell shook his head. Seifer didn't love him, Seifer made his life a living hell, the teasing, the punching, the way he could just act so cool even when Zell had _him_ pinned up against the wall. It was hard that no matter how much effort he put into it, he could never really hurt the bully, Seifer was always the one in charge.

Zell wanted to hurt Seifer in this moment of revenge, to take part in everything Seifer had done to him and return it, but he knew Seifer had also just saved his life. He couldn't hurt anyone who'd risked their own life for that. _Stupid guilt_, Zell thought.

So Zell knelt beside him, watching as his own bully slept on peacefully. He'd have to thank Seifer and then leave quickly before he was found. Seifer mumbled something, and Zell blushed. Seifer wasn't too horrid in this state, and he wasn't too…

Zell shook his head rapidly. He was _not _attracted to men. Nope. Not at all. He wasn't attracted to Zone or Biggs or Irvine or Squall or…

Then why was his heart beating so fast? Why did he want those lips on his again? Why… Zell shut out his thoughts, and drew his head closer. His eyes slid half-shut as he realized with a sickening feeling exactly what he wanted to do.

Seifer's eyes opened. Zell sprung back, afraid. "Sorry," Zell stated, and Seifer blinked, completely out of it. Oh, he hoped to Hyne Seifer hadn't noticed how close they were. He hoped Seifer couldn't hear how hard his blood was rushing, would think he was red due to the setting sun.

"For what?" Seifer asked, and then as an afterthought added, "Dumbass?"

Zell glared but resolved not to loose his temper here and now. "For waking you up," he responded. "And thanks for rescuing me." He dusted his pants as Seifer sat up, stretching. Zell swallowed.

Seifer grinned evilly, managing to unnerve the smaller blonde. "How do you know I'm not the boss?"

Zell shrugged weakly and then spat, "Cause you were fightin' them an' all." Suddenly he clamped his hands over his mouth and looked down. He didn't want to tell Seifer what had happened, didn't want to tell Seifer he'd been awake. He could have mentioned he'd _seen_ the boss. His mouth wasn't working at all today.

Seifer's eyes narrowed darkly and he took a few steps threateningly. "You were awake?"

"I was stopped," Zell argued back. Then he figured he could lie about the rest, and never speak of it again. "I passed out as I felt your hand on my neck." He placed his own hand on his neck as emphasis, and Seifer seemed to calm down quite a bit. Zell shuffled his feet until another thought occurred. "Can I call Squall or somethin'? Let him know the mission was a failure?" Seifer seemed much more… friendly now. It was creepy.

Seifer motioned for Zell to sit and Zell did while Seifer dug around in a fridge. "What exactly were you doing there? It's not a safe place for little chickens to be."

Zell glowered at the bully but answered his question anyway; Zell was never an expert at silence. "I was trackn' this boss. He's supposed to be baaaddd news." He stretched out his arms with "bad", noticing the way Seifer was watching him and tried not to blush as he wondered just what Seifer might be thinking. "So I managed to get in- but somebody gave me away. Then they all attacked me."

Seifer finished chewing his sandwich before asking his question. "Hadn't you been junctioned?" Seifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

Zell shook his head. "Nobody there uses magic but the higher-ups, and they do all sorts of status checks on you to make sure you aren't, like draw or pain or stuff. If a GF's unjunctioned, you know, they can't take it from you, because it's like it's not really there." Zell swallowed. "They group that…you saved me from didn't let me know that they'd found me out until they'd used silence, so even if I did junction, it'd be pointless."

He took a breath, trying not to remember how the battle had gone. He had downed six guys, to his credit, before they higher-ups had come.

"And they were going to…" Zell fell quiet, suddenly pulling his knees to his chin and not looking out of the cave they created. He hadn't had time to think about what they would do. Hyne, that was one of the reasons he was trying to bring the boss down. The floor was kind of dirty, Zell thought as he fought hard not to picture himself in the situation that he had heard, he had seen. They would have given him to the boss, a pretty new plaything, and the boss would make sure he was punished.

Seifer was there in an instant, close but not touching, handing him a sandwich. "I know what they do, Zell. You don't have to say." His voice was quiet, comforting. He wasn't sure how to tell Zell that he knew how horrible that man was, not only taking prostitutes, but making men his personal sex slaves and basically raping them. He was glad SeeD was involved, but if Zell was their only mole they were going to have serious problems.

Zell sniffled and took the sandwich, trying not to cry but he could never seem to restrain his emotions from Seifer; at least that was the way it had gone. He was so lucky even someone was there to pull him out, luckier still that Seifer would even think of rescuing him.

Seifer sat and watched as Zell cried his eyes out; Zell was wanting someone to hold but knowing no one would come up. Maybe Seifer…Maybe he could…

"I'm sorry," Zell stated again, as Seifer had shifted suddenly. Anything Seifer was going to do fell to the wayside as Zell continued. "I didn't mean to kick you out of your bed, I'll get going." Zell stood, placing the uneaten sandwich down and Seifer stood as well, trying to stop him. He knew exactly what gang was, where they were, who was watching and best yet, how to get out. Zell had no idea he was in the heart of their territory and to go outside was like walking into a hungry lion's den. And besides, Zell may still need rest. The martial artist looked vulnerable, incapable, just like on that SeeD test day when he was trying to show he wasn't wounded, trying to show Seifer he could be somebody.

"Not yet," he stated, and suddenly looked away, unable to meet Zell's sad eyes. "I mean, the gang's still looking for you, you know. Call Squall and then board Garden as soon as possible, but…" He looked to see Zell's eyes drying. "You did your best, chicken. I…" Seifer couldn't speak. Zell's eyes were sucking that power out of him.

Zell watched his bully, hopeful and angry. No shit he'd done his best. He'd always done his best; this mission wasn't anything new. Those pull-ups, at the garage? That was a prime example. He'd wanted someone to notice.

Horror of the realization dawning, he looked into Seifer's eyes as he realized exactly who he'd wanted to notice, if nothing else for a little respect. And maybe a nice cup of-

He hit his head, which caused an odd look from Seifer. "I'm gonna use your phone," Zell explained softly. "And then I'll eat the sandwich, I'll eat the bread if nothing else. Thank you." His tone was quiet. There was no need to be angry now, not when Almasy had fuckin' saved him, not when he was starting to feel some… non-hatred back, not when he knew he could handle the gunblader in any way, not when he was in the gunblader's home.

Seifer nodded, watching as Zell moved to the hall and picked up the phone, listening as Zell explained, listening as Squall told him it would be several days, but good luck. Zell hung up the phone and looked back at him, defeat in those ever-sparkling eyes.

"I guess I'll hang out at the hotel," Zell muttered, walking down the hall.

No. The hotel meant away from him, and Seifer didn't want Zell to go just yet. He looked at Zell and found the words forming before he could think about them. "It's too dangerous, Zell. I don't wanna have to save your ass again."

Zell smiled and looked up, his depression so evident on his face even Seifer couldn't reach him. "You won't have to." Zell headed for the door.

Seifer then bolted after him, afraid of loosing this chance, afraid of loosing Zell. He slammed the door shut as Zell had it opened, pinning Zell effectively beneath it. Zell looked frightened at first, an edible emotion that Seifer had always loved to see.

"They have guys _everywhere_, Zell. They won't kill you. They'll wrap you up nice and present it to their boss." He watched as the tattooed blonde shivered for a moment before he nodded, taking his hand off the door handle and pointed to his head.

"I'm gonna junction now, Seifer. I'll deal." Zell responded, his heart pounding. Oh, fuck, why did Seifer have to get this close without being an ass? He could feel his face flush, a blush taking over.

"Zell…" Seifer almost whined, but he let up, shaking his head. "Whatever you think you can do, Chickenwuss. I won't save you next time." He turned away coldly, and Zell suddenly wondered if this was the old Seifer or last night's Seifer.

He opened the door before noting that Seifer was right. One of the guys last night was outside, asking an old man before him if he'd seen Zell. Zell shut the door silently and Seifer sighed.

"Chickie…"

"They're lookin' for me, Seifer," Zell whispered. "Right outside." Seifer turned with an expression on his face that Zell couldn't read and held Zell tightly, a calm comforting that Zell needed right at that moment_. Seifer smells good_, his mind informed him, _and he's really close. Can't you feel his warmth? _Zell blushed.

Seifer thought a bit before responding. "Under my bed, chicken. There's a small compartment that you can shut, makes it look like nobody's under there." He showed Zell the latch in the air and Zell nodded, letting go much to both Seifer and Zell's disappointment.

Zell ran to the bedroom, looked under the bed and sure enough, there was the compartment. He squeezed through and then shut the door. He couldn't see, and hopefully, no one could see him.

The knock came and Zell held his breath. "Hey, Seif," came the voice, and Zell's heart plunked. Seifer was one of them.

"Hey, Earl. What's up?" Seifer remained calm, or at least his voice did. Zell cursed at himself for being this stupid. Seifer was probably signaling some sign right now. Footsteps into the living room. Zell started trying not to hyperventilate.

"We lost somebody," Earl stated. "Real dangerous kid. We were wondering if you knew where he was. Blonde, with a tattoo. Goes by the name of Biker." Earl's voice grew dark, and Zell swallowed. That was him all right, that was his code name. Zell gave a slight whimper. He was dead. Seifer had only prolonged his problems.

"What a crappy name," Seifer mused. "Sorry, Earl. Haven't seen anybody like that around, but I did get the pie your girlfriend sent."

Pie. Pie was a codeword, Zell told himself. Shit, Shit Shit… he tried to get out, but the compartment couldn't be opened from the inside. He was trapped.

The door shut as Earl said his goodbyes and Zell was shutting his eyes, hoping, praying this was all a misunderstanding. Seifer walked into the room, and Zell knew it was Seifer because those were the same footsteps he'd had since Zell remembered.

"Biker, huh?" The compartment door opened but Zell didn't come out. Instead he curled into a little ball, trying to ignore the man pleading with him to come out. Zell was going to die. Zell wasn't safe. Seifer had lied to him. Seifer sighed and left, trying not to listen to Zell's reasonings.

Zell finally needed to stretch and crawled out, comforted to see Seifer had left the room. He sat on the bed, shivering when Seifer sprang up and held him tightly. Zell struggled, yelling, but Seifer covered his mouth, too, and kicked him hard where it counted and Zell fell down, wanting to hit something.

"Let me explain, before you jump to conclusions like you're fond of doing," Seifer hissed. "They _own_ this place. They _are_ this place. I please them, and I'm not attacked. Understand?" He held up Zell by the back of his hair, hard enough to hurt. Zell already did.

Zell nodded weakly, and Seifer continued. "I have not told them about you, because that's my life that's over if I tell them I'm hiding a hostage. Don't fucking spoil this, Chickie. I'm doing you a favor and I expect to get something out of this- like out of this city."

Zell glared up at the angry green eyes, hoping he looked scary. But Seifer was unamused and kicked Zell again, and left the room. He cradled himself, wishing he could be a woman for a second. They hardly ever had to deal with getting kicked in the balls. Twice. Quickly, Zell cast a curaga (no sense in going light in treating _this_ injury), and sighed as the pain vanished.

Zell coughed a little before he stood up, angry. He stomped his way over to where Seifer was. Seifer backed away a bit, curious as to what Zell would do.

"What the fuck?" Zell demanded, brain not working and he suddenly hoped it would. "You're nice, then mean? You kick me, but before you-" He clamped his mouth shut as Seifer froze, turning angrily at him. He thanked Quez for clamping his mouth down before he said anything to make this worse. Zell took a stance, knowing Seifer couldn't get to him in this pose at this closeness, but he continued. "You rescue me?" he continued, trying his hardest to forget the kiss. It seemed so… unbelievable, especially now.

Seifer's shoulders eased and he offered his explanation. "You're too stupid to realize anything unless it's threatened to you." Zell's stance dropped and he walked over to Seifer, trying to be intimidating and knowing he wasn't at all. Seifer shifted a bit, and Zell tried hard to look into those eyes, to read them, but Seifer turned away suddenly.

"Just… I'm sorry, Seifer," Zell stated, and Seifer looked back to him, their noses almost touching. Zell could feel Seifer's breath and he wanted to take it so badly, and he didn't know why. Seifer kept looking at his lips and Zell kept looking at Seifer's eyes and then suddenly, Seifer leaned down and-

Seifer hit him, across the face, casting a cura afterwards. "Don't touch me," he hissed, and sulked away, leaving a confused and hurt Zell on the floor.

* * *

A/N: Still confused? Read this. 

Zell was on a mission to stop the boss and gang because the boss and hardcore followers are…evil, basically. Someone ratted Zell out and then members of the gang found him and started to beat him up, and that's where Seifer comes in. Zell was unjunctioned at the time, so that's the status magic that comes to make him stopped. Seifer, thinking Zell was asleep, gets enough courage to tell Zell how he feels.

There's the synapsis for last chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

3Disclaimer: Don't own characters. Square-enix does.

Author's notes: in the Japanese game, Zell likes bread, not hot-dogs. I've made the switch and Zell therefore likes bread in this story as well. Also, I apologize for the unusually long delay. I just had no computer time- the story is finished, and it will be finished here.

* * *

There was someone else in the room, Zell noted as he faked sleep and waited for Seifer's apology. _Stupid bastard._ He couldn't help his face from giving a pout. Seifer sat on the bed, too close for Zell's comfort. Zell hoped Seifer wasn't looking too far down. 

Seifer chuckled weakly, coaxing Zell's arms away from his chest and placing Zell's hand to the gunblader's face. "You'd kill me with these," Seifer whispered, and Zell shivered. Seifer was well aware of how Zell wanted to hit back.

Seifer placed Zell's hand down and paused, as if thinking of something. Quickly, he picked up the hand again and kissed it, then gently laid it down where it had been. Seifer then shook the blonde. "Zell. Zell, wake up."

Zell pretended to wake, looking at Seifer. Oh, he shouldn't have done that. Seifer was making his heart beat faster just because it was dark and he couldn't see all of him.

"Get in the covers, Zell. You're cold." Seifer opened one side up and Zell slipped in, too shocked to do otherwise. Seifer had actually noticed his shiver. Just how close had Seifer been watching, anyway?

"Why did you hit me?" Zell asked, but Seifer just gave a smile and ruffled Zell's hair as he walked away, letting Zell sleep again. Oh, no. Zell wasn't letting him off easily. "Seifer?" _You stupid jerk, you'll tell me why you hit me when you've been sneaking in all these kisses._

Seifer paused before looking back, a sort of pained expression on his face. Zell closed his eyes. "I'm still cold." That wasn't what he had meant to say. Swallowing, he was afraid he was going weak whenever Seifer pulled out a hurt face. He'd never seen it before.

Hell, he'd never felt Seifer kiss him before, either.

Seifer took a breath, and Zell knew Seifer was going to refuse, so he quickly stated, "But thank you." No apology. Seifer was still to arrogant for that. He was still too proud to apologize to his little Chicken. _Wait… what the hell did I just think?_

Seifer nodded, leaving. Zell heard the TV shut off and the dishes being put away. Zell never did eat that sandwich, he remembered, and smacked himself for not eating bread. Zell was almost asleep when he felt a sag in the bed as Seifer got in, several layers of pjs on him as well. Zell should have done the same, but now he was too tired to care.

Zell liked the warmth, and moved into it instinctively, not hearing the sharp inhale or feeling the arms around him possessively. But he did remember the kiss to his forehead, and the voice as he fell asleep, though he couldn't quite remember the words.

...there's supposed to be a space here...

Zell woke up, aware that someone had slept next to him and had gotten out of bed. He looked up at the man and blushed deeply and faked sleep again. It was not a good idea to see Seifer get dressed in the morning, not if he was going to stay with Seifer for a few more days. Not if he was going to be an ideal guest for the two of them.

Why did he always have to look at a guy's ass first anyway?

Back to more important things, he was cold now that Seifer was gone. He frowned; he didn't feel like getting Seifer back in the bed. Last night must have been a weakness of some kind. Or maybe it was Seifer's version of an apology, one that didn't seem all stuck-up and normal. Zell smiled to himself, strangely happy. An apology from Seifer made him feel tingly for no reason.

And Seifer had kissed him again. This was the fourth time. There was no doubt in Zell's mind that Seifer liked him, and he wondered strangely why. Seifer hated him. Seifer always picked on him. Was it to get the attention? Did he crave Zell's attention the way Zell craved his?

/"My pretty, rebellious Chicken…" Seifer's face so close, in the very bed Zell was in now, Seifer above him.../ Zell gasped, the image much to vivid to hold inside. He shivered; Seifer must have seen him. _No! I'm not gonna think of that jerk like this…_

Seifer moved over to the bed and closed the covers around Zell, and Zell gave a mumble in response. Seifer chuckled again. "Cute little chicken." Zell knew he blushed.

As Seifer left Zell took in a deep breath. He could do this. He could live with this for a few days. He could live with the dreams and the confusion and the hard-ons and kissing and sex-

"I did not just say that!" Zell yelled, then covered his mouth. Oh, shit. _Fuckin' hell! I'm not attracted to this bastard!_

"Zell?" came the voice, and Zell held back a groan as his cock jumped, delighted. "Zell? Are you dreaming?" Zell made no response and the feet walked away.

"Dreamin' 'bout you," Zell mumbled into his pillow. Oh, Hyne, this was _not_ happening.

...space...

Zell emerged about thirty minutes later, wanting to use the shower so he wouldn't dirty up Seifer's sheets. Needless to say Zell had taken off his shirt so Seifer couldn't see his pants. Seifer's eyes seemed to flicker hungrily at his exposed skin, but then Ice Seifer was back, pointing to the bathroom. Zell thanked him, and apologized for the other day. As he shut the door, he heard a response- very soft.

"You shouldn't have to," Seifer whispered. Zell leaned up on the door, wondering if Seifer would open it, if Seifer would come and take this…feeling away. He couldn't fall in love. There were lots of people in love with him! The library girl, for one example. He'd be a complete jerk if he suddenly announced, "Sorry, but I'm going out with my archenemy."

Zell took off the rest of his clothes, leaving them by the door. As he started the water, he looked at the cabinet mirror, wondering what Seifer saw in him. A fighter? Someone strong? Someone emotional, who needed a foundation? Was Zell someone who needed to be kept in restraint just like Seifer needed someone to protect? Zell wasn't weak, that was for sure. Zell slipped into the shower, trying to figure out if they ever would have a relationship.

He shivered at the prospect of having someone there to be…dominant, but not as much as like a… master. Someone who could meet his ups and downs as well as switch. Never having these thoughts before, especially not of a man, Zell swallowed, wondering if Seifer would ever give him a blowjob.

Oh, Hyne, why the hell had he just thought that? His hands slowly stroked himself under the water, picturing Seifer, realizing exactly what was going on. Seifer was trying to push him away, mentally. He groaned. "Seifer-" he whispered to himself. As he heard his voice, he suddenly was filled with dread.

_What the _hell_ am I thinking? Oh, shit, oh, shit, I am not jacking off to a man in his shower!_

With an image of Seifer creeping up toward his lips, kissing along his chest, hands around his member, Zell continued, hard pressed to feel guilty. _Hell,_ he decided, _my emotions always get away from me, so why not now?_

His imaginary Seifer got a few more moans and then Zell came suddenly, the feeling so much better now and allowing him to think straight.

Love or lust, Zell was attracted. He sighed. _I suppose there's no way to get over this…_

Zell clambered out of the shower, smiling bigger than he had all mission. He could almost envision Seifer later that night, arms wrapped around them as they fell asleep, his head cradled against Seifer's warm pajamas. Zell looked around and realized his clothes were gone. When had Seifer come to take them? Had Seifer seen him…

Oh, Hyne, please, no.

"Seifer?" Zell called out, the door creeping open.

"What?" Seifer yelled back. "Shut the hell up, Chicken!"

Zell clucked his tongue and waited patiently for Seifer when he heard the voice.

The boss's voice, to be specific. The boss was here, looking for him. But Seifer hadn't turned him in; was the boss after Seifer, too? Zell worriedly stepped back and looked in the drawers for anything to hide his face. The boss knew him and knew what he looked like far too well. Why was the boss back here?

Grinning as he found cover-up, he quickly applied it to his tattoo, almost draining the entire bottle and flushing it down the toilet so the Boss couldn't trace it. He rubbed it in and he grinned. There wasn't a trace of it left, but he washed his hands just as Seifer knocked on the door.

"Chicken?" Seifer called, a hint of worried ness in his voice.

"Hmm?" Zell asked, opening the door to the Boss, a lackey and Seifer's own surprised eyes. "Can I help you?"

The boss glared at his lackey and gave Seifer an odd gesture before turning to Zell. "My apologizes," he stated, and Zell realized the boss was looking at his towel. Or rather, trying to figure out what was underneath it. Zell blushed and nodded as Seifer handed him his "clothes" and walked the boss to the door. As it shut, Seifer watched them go and then hissed-

"Get away from the windows."

Zell did as he was told, moving to the living room to put on his clothes and sat there, patiently until Seifer had closed all the blinds and pulled him into a hug. "I thought we'd be dead for sure," Seifer whispered into his ear. "I'll never call you stupid again."

Zell wasn't sure he liked the sudden closeness and responded. "We'll need more cover-up. I flushed it."

Seifer tensed, but then nodded, sighing and letting Zell go. "All right. I'll have Fujin get us some. She's just upstairs." Seifer moved off of Zell. "That was brilliant."

The little blonde swallowed, afraid of saying anything but wanting to nonetheless. Why exactly was the boss here? "Where are my real clothes?" he asked, and Seifer shrugged. Zell grew hurt but Seifer returned with toast. Zell took his piece. "Why'd the boss show up?" he asked, hoping to figure out what was going on.

Seifer dodged the question. "We may have to leave at some point. He's interested in Chicken." Seifer looked at him, studying for a reaction.

"Well," Zell started, "He is kinda sexy." Realizing what he said he covered his mouth the best he could, but Seifer was staring at him as if he were crazy. "Sorry. Homophobic?" _No, you just love me, right? So you're jealous._

Seifer turned, not responding and then picking up the plates harshly and dumping them in the water. Angered by Seifer's outburst, Zell stood, glaring at the taller man's back. "Hey, why the hell are you mad at _me _for?"

Seifer said nothing, and Zell walked up to him, turning him around. "Look. I don't want this anymore than you do, but I'll keep quiet and rational if you just stop getting so angry. Why the hell are you getting angry fo-"

Seifer pushed him back, causing Zell to fall onto the floor. It kind of hurt, but the pain didn't matter after a while. Seifer fell on top of him, whispering some magic. Pain. Why would Seifer cast Pain on somebody he liked? Oh, right. The pushing away part, Zell reminded himself.

Zell couldn't move his hands to shut him up, and he still wasn't junctioned, so he did the next best thing.

He kissed Seifer. It was a small peck, but Zell blushed as he did it. Seifer really didn't taste too bad.

And Hyne help him, Seifer kissed him back.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Seifer's hands were rummaging through Zell's hair like there was no tomorrow, and Zell was trying to pull Seifer tighter to him, hands roaming down Seifer's sides. All Zell knew was that Seifer's mouth felt really damn good and Seifer was enjoying this.

They pulled apart, slightly, Seifer's flushed face looking down at Zell's. "Seifer…please…" All those emotions Seifer had kept hidden surfaced, the stress gone as soon as he released him. Zell was attacked by a fury of kisses, moaning slightly. This had to have been heaven. Zell was even hard for him, and Seifer gave a smirk before plundering Zell's mouth again. Why, oh, why had he been so mean and icy when such bliss was right here?

They pulled apart again, and Zell blushed as Seifer eyed him up and down like food. Oh, hell, baby, he'd be candy for Seifer any day, as long as Seifer kept kissing. Who knew the bully had such feelings? Zell couldn't even remember hating the bastard- oh, wait, yes he could. "Seifer..." he moaned. Seifer growled in response, causing Zell to shiver.

Suddenly, Seifer pulled away, covering his mouth and heading for the bathroom, locking it. Zell sat up, confused. "Seifer?" he asked, suddenly embarrassed. Acting so childish in front of his archenemy! He buried his face in his hands. "I'm not in love," he told himself reassuringly. "Just… horny, with nobody else." That sounded believable.

Right after that statement, there was a choking noise and he heard vomit hit the toilet. His eyes widened, filling with both tears and anger. Seifer found him disgusting. "Yeah, well, you weren't so good, either!" Zell yelled at him, giving him the up-yours sign though Seifer couldn't see it. Zell kicked the wall and headed for the bedroom.

He rocked back and forth on the bed. Seifer was disgusted with him. Zell remained on the bed for Hyne knows how long and just cried. He cried. Seifer hated him. Seifer would never kiss him again, and Zell coldly realized that that's exactly what he wanted. He wanted Seifer to love him.

That was not the most comforting revelation, and Zell pounded several pillows until they fell apart and he drifted, exhausted. He flopped over as he heard the bathroom door open.

"Zell?" Came the voice, and Zell pulled the covers over his head. "Zell?" Seifer walked into the bedroom, turning on the lamp beside the bed, sitting on the dull flowery colored cover. Zell pushed his head into the soft blue pillow, or rather, what was left. Part was so that Seifer wouldn't see him cry. Part so Seifer wouldn't be seen and make Zell blush. Part so Seifer wouldn't think he was an emotional bomb that just was set off, though it was partly true.

"Zell, I'm sorry. I… I have a bad history of an upset stomach, especially now. Please… it wasn't your fault…" Seifer broke off. "It was a scare, Chicken. The boss thought you were here and I had to explain who was in the shower and I wasn't ready to eat. Zell…" Seifer was shaking Zell gently, then sighing. "Fine, Chicken. I can-"

"I'm not a chicken!" Zell whined. "I'm a person, a person that you're trying to drive away and I won't go!" Muffled sobs accompanied the statement.

"Zell…" Seifer responded weakly. He softly rubbed Zell's back, trying to comfort the smaller blonde. "Zell."

"No! Just shut up! You keep givin' me kisses an' then I kiss you, and you're disgusted! What the hell am I suppose to think?" Zell dove deeper into the bed and Seifer managed to get his hands under him and cradled him gently, holding Zell and the covers the way Matron used to do.

"You knew I kissed you?" Seifer asked, and Zell nuzzled his way to light, the covers falling over his face. Seifer was quiet, almost… father-like.

Zell nodded. "Four times," he stated, hiccupping. Seifer shook his head, wiping away the tears with his fingers. Then Zell realized Seifer actually must have done it more, because Seifer seemed half-way amused.

"I'm not disgusted," Seifer told him. "I really just can't keep a lot down." Zell squirmed his way to sitting up, and Seifer continued. "It wouldn't work, Zell. I don't want us to get attached."

"You do to, you liar!" Zell yelled back, struggling against this man, against this nice person. "You want to get attached just like me because-" Zell froze. Damn his mouth. He could never keep secrets with Seifer for long. He felt Seifer's breath hitch as Seifer's hands traced his tattoo gently, as if Zell's skin would shatter. Zell took in a hiccupped breath. His tears had probably wiped away the cover-up.

"Can you make it the rest of the day without saying anything, Chicken?" Seifer asked again, and Zell hiccupped much more quickly this time. Seifer understood. Seifer had always understood, like when he was bluffing or happy or sad.

"You...always… can get me to say something," he admitted quietly. "I think you're right, though. If I get out, I'll get you out."

"And Raijin, and Fujin. That's how we're here." Seifer looked away from Zell's curious eyes. "Let's eat lunch and I'll call Fujin down." He got up and Zell lay in the bed, only getting up when Seifer called him. Lunch already. Maybe Zell had slept some of the time away.

There was a lot of bread, and Zell almost drooled as he sat down, quickly said thanks and dug in. Seifer chuckled. "Good to see I can still remember a few things."

Zell nodded and as soon as they were both done Seifer picked up the phone. "Fujin? Hey, it's Seifer. I was wondering if you could help me with a few shopping things…yeah, thanks. I appreciate it." He hung up the phone, sneaking a glance at Zell's ass as Zell shadowboxed. It was kind of annoying in a closed space, but from this angle, he rather liked it. Zell's ass all bent in awkward positions…

Zell turned as soon as he realized the phone conversation was done. "Is she going to go?"

Seifer nodded, and sat in front of the TV. "She's got her key," he explained, and Zell sat on the sofa next to him, noting Seifer's flinch. Sneakily he reached over Seifer's lap slowly for the remote and grabbed it quickly, changing the channel. He smiled evily as he noticed Seifer's shortness of breath, as he noticed the way Seifer's hips almost seemed to come closer to him. He also noticed how Seifer glared at him. "What did I say, Zell?"

Zell pressed their noses together, grinning evily. "You know I don't think, baby," he whispered. Seifer closed his eyes, ready to draw Zell into a kiss. Zell watched and waited eagerly as their faces got closer. "Seifer…I…I lo-"

"Shhh…" Seifer told him, understanding. Zell's eyes shut, ready to accept whatever happened.

Their romantic interlude was interrupted by Fujin, who opened the door and shut it quickly. She walked into the living room area and promptly fainted for two reasons: One, Seifer had actually saved the Chicken wuss, and two, Seifer was actually _kissing_ the chicken-wuss.

Zell's head spun around as he heard her body hit the floor. "Oh, crap," he stated, and Seifer raced over to her, checking for a pulse. She opened her eye, glaring at him. "EXPLAIN," she demanded.

Seifer chuckled. "I told you we needed to go shopping."


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, sorry for the extremely long delay. To make it up, here's two chapters at once.

5

"And that's about it," Seifer told the albino, smiling as she looked over the list of things to buy. "I've got the money, and Squall will be here in about three days. Zell's agreed to help us on board the Garden and we can get the hell out of here." Zell squirmed a little at this, but Fujin nodded.

"EXPLAIN," She told Seifer, and left, giving an obvious wink to Zell. "WILL RETURN." The door shut and Zell arched an eyebrow.

"A _dress_?" he demanded.

Seifer scratched the back of his head. "Yeah… About that…I told the boss you were the uh… chick." He watched as Zell rolled his eyes. "Bottom just didn't come to my head first, all right?"

Zell sighed, looking over the copy list. Among it were regular shopping items, then cover-up and a dress, Zell's dress size (fitted by Fujin), and then some armor and weaponry.

"Um, Zell, there's something awkward about the gang and I."

"What?" Zell asked, looking up. Seifer looked away. Zell suddenly felt concern, and while a little voice told him that it wasn't his business, Zell asked again. "What?"

"The gang boss… he's…"

Zell froze, worried. Seifer looked so fallen, and the boss seemed so much like him. "He's your brother," he suggested.

"Not my brother. Not anyone's brother," Seifer told him. "Zell, the boss found us as we fled the lunatic Pandora. He's keeping us here, trying to coax us to give one of our gang up, and so we've been debating. We give him our statement in three days. However, I have a feeling he'll be interested in you in exchange for our freedom, and Zell, I don't want that." Brokenly, Seifer buried his face in his hands. "I'm so stupid, Zell…"

Zell didn't know what to say. Reaching over the table he held Seifer's head, not sure of what to say. "What's with the dress, Seifer?"

"I told him… you were the girl," Seifer stated. "He demanded to know who was in the shower, and I told him my boyfriend, and he asked if you were a sub and I said yeah, you'd wear dresses and he looked at you and he liked you and now you're in danger." Seifer took a breath. "I've fucked up, Zell. I'm sorry."

Zell held him softly as Seifer cried into his arms, the feeling so strange and alien but altogether good. He managed to get Seifer to the bed and Seifer fell asleep thanks to a sleep spell, and Zell kissed Seifer a kind of goodnight as the scared blonde napped away his stress. There was something oddly romantic about that.

Goodnight, hell it was hardly day, Zell thought to himself. Realizing he was still in one of Seifer's bigger shirts, he noted his cover-up all smeared. He laughed as he went into the restroom to wipe it off.

The cheerful sun met him as he finished washing the last dish, smiling to himself. Everything was going well. At least, for now, and Zell was determined to enjoy it.

Zell hummed to himself as he then moved to finish drying the dishes. Seifer wasn't so bad, he decided. Not the creepy bully he used to be. Now that Zell was starting to understand him, Seifer actually seemed decent. Zell then went to cleaning up the kitchen, albeit there wasn't much to be done. Seifer was already kind of neat. Zell figured the roaches could go, however.

Seifer emerged from the room later on. "Zell?" he asked, and Zell nodded at him, placing the can of roach spray underneath the sink. Seifer nodded back, happily, and sat down on the sofa.

"What do you normally do on a day like today?" Zell asked, slinkily sitting next to him, resting his head on Seifer's shoulder. Seifer's head covered his and he responded, "We've been supported only by this gang, Zell, but we can't get out of the building. Fujin is the only one, because she doesn't speak the same as you and I. And…I'm sorry…"

Zell gave him a slight punch. "So what do you do?" he asked again, and he caught his breath as Seifer turned to him, shocking green eyes that just melted him then and there. Seifer leaned over and kissed him, gently as their lips met briefly and then pulled back.

"I think about doing that," Seifer stated coolly. He flipped on the TV.

Zell was a mess. Seifer had just kissed him outright, and now he was ignoring him. His mouth wouldn't work and he just sat agape. Finally, he managed to get some sense- he'd liked it, Seifer had done it, and he wanted more, no matter how loud he had promised not to be.

"What was that?" Zell suddenly yelled, and Seifer flinched, though his victorious grin was obvious and pasted on his face. He turned is full body around, staring at Zell like the fighter was edible and delicious. Zell gulped but was eager; he was terrified but felt awesome. He made a note to flirt more often.

He stared at Seifer wide eyed until Seifer suddenly pounced, pinning Zell to the sofa. Zell was underneath the bully and looked up at Seifer's eyes. Seifer smirked. "This," he answered, kissing Zell again.

Zell moaned into the kiss this time. It felt so good, how could he not? Seifer's hands roamed up and down his sides as he himself was clinging onto Seifer's back. Seifer pulled away for a second, and Zell knew he was flushed, but didn't realize Seifer would be so.

"Zell," Seifer whispered, but Zell pulled him down, and whatever Seifer had wanted to say was forgotten, lost between a new dance of tongues and breaths.

Neither heard the door open, or they might have jumped up. Neither heard the sharp gasp, or they would have felt horrible. Neither saw the angry eyes as they tore themselves away, or they would have protected each other.

But they did hear the huge thump as yet another member of Seifer's posse fainted, the shock too much for the big man to take. Seifer was blushing, Zell noted, and he inquired as the two helped the staff-wielder up to the bed.

"He likes you," Seifer admitted, looking away. "He'd probably be better for you anyway, I mean…" Seifer's face grew angry and Zell noted that Seifer was now probably going to try and force him away, so he placed a quick kiss on Seifer's cheek.

"That doesn't mean I like him, baby," Zell stated, winking.

Seifer was the one speechless, left with shock at how well Zell was starting to read him.

Fujin was worried, and it wasn't how the men kept sneering at her, or the way the clothes had been so cheap. Seifer and Zell were kissing. They had been kissing, and she'd heard rumors of the boss lusting after both Zell and Biker. She'd heard rumors they were getting out. She'd been told by Seifer that they had a ticket out.

She would not have guessed Seifer had sunk that low. She'd known Seifer had pined over Zell for years- even with Ultimacia, the topic of Zell brought some familiarity to his eyes. Seifer had always told her that you didn't get attached in a prisoner exchange, but here he was, kissing the prisoner. Seifer was going to give up his heart for them? To give Zell to somebody… evil? She shook her head, hurrying along.

She had a feeling the boss was headed there now. She scampered up the apartment to Seifer's door, knocking on it. The door opened to Raijin, who looked teary-eyed. "SEIFER?" Fujin demanded, and Raijin burst into sobs on her shoulder.

"Oh, Fu, it's like I feared, ya know?"

Fujin felt her heart drop as she kicked the "thunder god" in the shin and headed for the bedroom. Seifer sat there, quietly. "ZELL?" She asked, and Seifer looked up.

"Zell…" Seifer had tears in his eyes, and wouldn't look at her.

Fujin dropped the bag. Zell was gone. This couldn't be happening. She would not let this happen. Her eye narrowed and she began thinking of a million plans for revenge.

"Who's calling my name?" Zell asked, poking his head out of the bathroom. "Hey, Fujin. Raijin saw us make-out and, well, he's kinda upset about that. But he's a nice guy," Zell stated, and Raijin shut the door. Fujin walked over to Raijin and kicked him.

"RAIJIN, MINE," she stated plainly and Raijin scratched the back of his head.

"Fu, I like guys too, ya know?"

Fujin only glared her response. Raijin scratched the back of his head. "Okay."

"BOSS, COME." Fujin warned, and she and Raijin hurried out of the room.

"Fujin, I love ya a lot, ya know? I'd die for ya." The words faded into the hallway and the door shut.

Seifer swallowed, trying to avoid Zell asking questions about how scrunched up his face looked. However, Zell looked in the bag before even looking at him.

"This is a really nice dress, Seifer," Zell remarked. "But do I really have to-" he was hushed as the two heard footsteps up the stairs. Zell took the bag and flew into the bathroom. Hurriedly, he put on his cover-up. It was exactly the right shade this time and he thanked Fujin a thousand fold for being so perceptive. The dress flew on next and he growled at the zipper. He raced out of the room and Seifer helped him with his dress, both worried and hurried about the whole situation.

"Seifer, I'm scared," Zell whispered to him, wondering if there were gun men or if the boss was going to kill them both. He could beat their asses, but he still hadn't junctioned, and the boss specialized in magic.

"Shhh," Seifer stated, kissing Zell on the forehead and sitting him down. "It'll work out all right." Guilt poured through him, and Seifer felt like puking.

Two knocks and Seifer moved to open the door, Zell watching patiently.

It was Earl, the neighbor. Relief washed over both their faces.

"The boss will be here tomorrow at noon," Earl stated, staring at Zell as Zell blushed. "He wants a lunch with you both." Earl bowed and walked away, and Seifer sighed, closing the door.

"Gave me a heart attack," Seifer stated, sinking in the chair across from Zell. Zell shrugged and pulled at the zipper of his dress, hoping to be out of the thing. "Can you help, Seifer?"

Seifer calmly motioned for him to stand up, undoing the zipper in the back. He noted Seifer watching him hungrily, but he didn't want this to end badly. He could start to see Seifer's reasoning: that this wouldn't end well for anybody involved. Don't get attached and when Seifer dies…

Hyne, he was already sad, and Seifer was right behind them.

Zell placed the dress nicely down on the sofa, sitting on the other side. "I'm worried, Seifer. What if Squall won't take you in? What if I have to leave you here?"

Seifer looked at Zell, knowing Zell wanted to be comforted but also knowing that Zell needed an ounce of truth. "Let's worry about that when the time comes," Seifer told him.

Zell nodded, realizing now he was mostly naked and that this was actually quite embarrassing. He quickly picked up the shirt he had worn before and put it on, knowing Seifer was probably chuckling to himself. Stupid Seifer.

"I don't have much in the way of movies," Seifer stated, "but we can watch something to pass the time."

Zell nodded, very pleased when Seifer sat next to him. Zell leaned into Seifer's chest, comforted, and sighed. This had to have been a perk of the mission.

Seifer turned on the TV, his hands shaking. He swallowed. Hyne, Zell was here and almost naked and beautiful and he was going to give it up. He was going to give Zell away.

He was going to hurt Zell. Seifer got up suddenly and moved to the bathroom, spilling out the contents of his stomach. He was going to hurt Zell. Zell was just so fucking innocent in this, these weren't his problems. He'd rescued Zell just to turn him in so Seifer could have his own problems removed?

He puked again, cursing the stupid idiosyncrasy.

Hands suddenly placed themselves on his back, rubbing it gently, and it felt good, oddly enough. Zell was comforting him. Tears threatened to come harder, but he wouldn't, not at all. Zell was suddenly no longer annoying or pathetic like Seifer had tried to force himself to see, but Zell was caring, Zell could be rational, Zell was kind. Fuck, Seifer didn't want to see Zell as kind. He didn't want to look up into Zell's face and just stare in awe.

"Seifer? Are you sick?" Zell asked gently, and Seifer shook his head.

"Naw…just a weak stomach, remember, Chicken?" Seifer smirked to himself. That always made Zell mad.

Instead, he got a chuckle. "If I'm a chicken, does that mean you're going to eat me?"

Seifer was taken aback. Zell wasn't angry, no, Zell was flirting. This wasn't right. This wasn't-

Zell took a washcloth and wiped his mouth and hugged him. "Brush your teeth, Baby, and lets get back to that movie, huh?" Zell walked away, almost singing to himself.

Seifer tried not to cry. Zell had slipped through his defenses that had taken so long to build up, and not only did Zell keep surprising him, and not only had his whole crush suddenly explode on him, Zell had his heart and Seifer was falling faster, deeply hoping Zell's arms would be there at the bottom to hold him.

Fuck, this _wasn't _supposed to happen.

uh-oh. Has Seifer told Zell the truth? Would I be asking if he has? Oh, well, on to the next chapter, eh?


	6. Chapter 6

Bedtime, night three. Disclaimer: Don't own the boys, don't own Fujin, don't own Raijin, don't own Squall… you get the idea. I'm writing this down because it gets it out of my head, and I'm placing it of FF net because I'd like feedback on what I think.

Thank you.

"Seifer?" came the call, and Seifer turned from the bathroom to see Zell in an over-sized shirt. It barely reached his knees. Zell was also holding the extra toothbrush he kept for emergencies, and due to all of the above factors, looked positively cute. Or edible. Seifer wasn't sure yet. Zell cocked his head. "You look rabid," he stated.

"Thank you for the obvious, Chicken," Seifer mumbled, spitting out toothpaste. Zell gave a chuckle and then helped himself to the fluoride stuff, watching the cream as it stayed on top of the bristles. "What did you want?" he asked, avoiding looking at Zell. The sofa was all made up for him and Seifer looked forward to sleeping on the lumpy cushions.

"'An ehh oin ou ehn ed?" came the muffled reply, and Seifer raised an eyebrow. Zell rolled his eyes and finished, rinsing out his mouth and turning to face the bully. "Can I join you in bed?"

"I'm sleeping on the sofa," Seifer responded. "I won't force a guest to suffer on that thing." He took a pillow and walked to the exit of the bedroom. "Night."

Zell's face looked crestfallen. "You slept with me last night," he whined, trying not to show his disappointment. Seifer sighed, rolling his eyes. Well, yes, he had, but that was because he-

"No funny business," he warned, going over to the bed and pulling back the covers. Zell literally bounded into bed, the lights turned off almost as an afterthought. Seifer hadn't even laid down and Zell was snuggled up to him. Zell smelled really nice, too, after that shower. It was almost like a kind of marking. Zell was in _his _clothes and in _his _bed and in _his_ scent. He traced the tattoo gently. Yet Zell wasn't his.

Zell moved his head in response, then murmured a question. "Why'd you like me, anyway?" he asked, eyes shut.

Seifer couldn't think of a good explanation. Because Zell had always been beautiful, innocent and so bubbly, his mind told him. Zell could smile and the whole world would light up. Zell would always let the world know what he was thinking. Zell was always doing the right thing, and especially for other people.

Unlike Seifer. Selfish Seifer, he told himself, trying not to puke again. Hyne…

"I just have," Seifer whispered to him, and Zell opened an eye.

"Can't think of anything, huh?" Zell asked, chuckling. With that he let go of Seifer, and Seifer was able to breathe deeply, the feeling disappearing.

It was replaced with something wet on his neck as his shirt was quickly being undone.

"Zell?" Seifer asked, sitting up. "What the hell-" he was cut off as a mouth met his and he wasn't feeling like denying that. Zell was stroking his tongue, almost begging it to come and take him over and as the rest of the shirt was undone, Zell pulled back.

"I want…" Zell swallowed, embarrassed. "I…" he trailed off, instead letting his actions speak for him, the way he always had, kissing down Seifer's neck and down Seifer's chest.

His Zell, his mind whispered. _Make him your Zell. He'd moan your name, if you'd let him…_

Zell deserved so much better. Seifer took Zell's hands then, holding them tightly and forcing Zell up. Zell watched, an obvious flush on his face as he was panting. There were other things that were just as obvious on both men, but Seifer controlled his eyes to look at only Zell's eyes. He couldn't think as they met his, pleading and controlling and sparkling and lustful. Zell wanted release, but he didn't just want that.

He wanted Seifer to give it to him.

"Please, Seifer," Zell begged, giving a whine.

"We can't, Zell." Seifer responded, trying to ignore his own want. "It… it's not going to-" He gasped as Zell managed to flip them so Seifer had him pinned down and was over the Martial Artist. Seifer found sensibility was loosing an uphill battle at this point. Zell struggled a bit in his grip- both knew he could break out, but he was showing he wasn't trying to.

"Don't tell me why we can't," Zell stated. "I just know that we both want this, and it's not a several day fling. The only thing this situation has done is peel away and the defenses we've put over ourselves." He threw his head back as Seifer kissed his neck.

"That was eloquent," Seifer muttered, letting go of Zell's hands and pulling off Zell's over-sized shirt.

"I spent the rest of the night thinkin' on it," Zell responded proudly, straightening his posture, though he was on the bed.

Seifer chuckled, pulling down the elastic band of the boxers. "You would, Chicken."

Zell whined as Seifer sat him partially up. Seifer looked at him. "Save yourself for someone special," he whispered as he began to stroke Zell's flesh. Zell gave out a moan and hitched breath, trying to come up with a response.

"You…you are special," he responded.

Mine, Seifer's thoughts demanded. _He wants you. Make him yours. Besides, the only other person he'll get is-_

Seifer paused, keeping the rhythm though Zell knew suddenly something was wrong. Zell placed his hands on Seifer's face, watching as Seifer cried suddenly. Zell bit his lip, not wanting Seifer to stop but thinking that maybe, he should. _I…I made him cry…_

Seifer looked up, so broken and kissed Zell gently. "I can't, Zell. I'm sorry." Yet his hands continued until Zell spilled onto them, and Seifer got up out of bed to wash them off. Zell pulled up his boxers, confused.

"Goodnight, Zell," Seifer whispered, returning to the bed.

Zell only nodded as Seifer turned away from him. Zell pulled on his shirt and he wondered how the hell he had fucked things up. He wanted to cry. The look on Seifer's face, the pleading, Hyne, he'd never thought he'd see that. Zell felt tears and he needed someone to hold, and he held onto Seifer, pressing his face in the older man's back. "I'm sorry," Zell said, trying to stop crying as he felt Seifer's own shaky breaths. He reached around Seifer's stomach. Seifer held onto his hands, opening his mouth but saying nothing.

It was only when Zell was half-way asleep that he heard the response. "It's never been your fault, Chicken."

So, I guess the real question is, will Seifer turn over his friends or turn over Zell? Yeah, that's more of a cliffhanger than the actual last line, huh? Oh well. Tell me what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Everybody thank Eoko for inspiring me to add more chapters. Luckily, they are not how she thought they would be (because that just spoils a story), so you'll have to read on. You are two chapters away from actual Yaoi.

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters; don't wish to own them, either. I just like playing with them a lot. See, I take my Seifer doll and have him standing by the ocean, and then my Zell doll comes up and asks what's wrong, and then they kiss and have sex. That's a happy ending right there, and I wish Square (whatever) would have used it.

Warnings: I'm trying to not make the chapters feel rushed. I've got some down time this semester (having graduated) but I'm going to Japan for a year in March. I probably won't update while there, though I may continue to write. I'm trying to pour this all out of my head so I can focus.

On with the fic.

assdfhdd

Raijin had picked up on it before she had, and that's what made Fujin mad. She'd seen the way Seifer had always looked at Zell, knew enough of Seifer's personality to know Zell fit him well, some one with the energy and stamina, and somebody to look after when Zell wasn't thinking. She'd seen the way Seifer writhed at night, gasping Zell's name in the tent the three had shared. She'd picked up on the way Seifer's entire pose showed dominance whenever the little blonde was around. Even if Seifer hadn't noticed it, she certainly had. It was animal instinct to look attractive towards whoever you liked, right?

Raijin had known Seifer was using Zell, and worse (for her rep), Raijin had realized Zell loved Seifer. She'd kicked herself for that one, after she kicked Raijin a few times. She was too busy looking out for her own friend she hadn't noticed how Zell had also tried to look appealing. She hadn't noticed how Zell made sure Seifer saw him, how he always backed off in the end, giving Seifer what he wanted. The way he held up his head a little too high so Seifer could attack Zell's neck with his mouth; the way Zell's back arched when Seifer had him pinned to a wall for running and handed Zell a ticket. Zell was being submissive. Not a submissive type, Fujin reminded herself, but a compliment to what Seifer needed. She'd seen Zell almost reach out to the bully when Seifer had cried one summer, because Seifer was all alone.

Seifer and Zell were about as obviously meant to be together as conjoined twins.

Yet Seifer was going to use Zell in the worst possible way. Raijin had told her that night and Fujin knew there was nothing- nothing- she could have done about it. Seifer would come to her later this day with an empty face and pretend to be strong, even joke about what he had done, and then he'd sit and stare at the tea and wonder to himself why he felt so badly, why he was puking again. He only puked that violently when he thought of Ultimacia, when he thought he was being as manipulative as she was.

Fujin kicked the fridge as she got out the milk. Seifer was an idiot. It was nice to choose friendship over love, but Fujin knew that Seifer was lying to himself. He'd used somebody. Like he had before, like he had in the war and when they'd look up at him he'd laugh, and later on he'd vomit into the tub or toilet and Raijin and Fujin would be there, comforting him. He'd stopped puking lately, and that was their problem. When he stopped feeling guilty, they knew something was horribly wrong.

The tea was set. There was no knock. Seifer would come to her, she knew, but her patience was wearing thin. She wasn't going to wait for him to come several hours later, or take a chance that Seifer would come up this early.

She stood up and opened the door. "SEIFER ROOM," she stated, and Raijin nodded, stealing a tea and watching the telly, knowing Fujin would better handle this. She always did. Besides, he might do something…like molest the sleeping fighter. At least, he thought Zell was sleeping at five a.m.

Fujin managed to fly down the stairs to Seifer's door. She knocked repeatedly, trying to listen for voices. Instead, there was a TV that shut off and footsteps to the door. It opened, a sleep-deprived Seifer with messed up hair greeting her. "Hey, Fujin," he stated, opening the door wider. Fujin wished she had brought some tea to wake him up. "Shh, he's sleeping. Come on in."

The albino did just that, noting how Seifer shut the door and then looked at the room, walking to the entrance of his bedroom. She noted how he looked a little too long at the sleeping blonde, who, after she peeped in herself, was petting the covers looking for a person who was supposed to be there. Seifer went in the room, leaning over the sleeper and kissing him, giving an explanation. "Fujin's here, Zell. I'll come back later."

Zell gave a whine and held onto Seifer's arm possessively, enough to leave a bruise. Seifer's eyes saddened and he touched the hand gently. Zell sighed and fell back to sleep, murmuring some nonsense to either ears listening.

Seifer exited, shutting the door and motioning for the kitchen. He got out several teabags. "Would you like some?"

"No," Fujin stated, her eye narrowing. Seifer nodded and made one for himself, knowing why she was here. Fujin decided to speak normally for emphasis. "How does he make you feel, Seifer?" Her voice held concern.

Seifer gave a saddened chuckle as he poured hot water in a mug, placing the cheap tea-bag in the water. He sat down, swishing the bag round. "Nothing. He's just a tool."

Fujin promptly kicked him. "Don't _lie _to me, Seifer."

Seifer winced and stopped swishing. "Don't, Fujin. I'm going to turn him in. I can't afford to fall in love now."

Fujin hit him this time, square across the jaw. "You didn't fall in love _now_," she stated. "You didn't fall in love over these few days. Squall is coming tomorrow, right? With our announcement to the gang?"

Seifer shook his head. "Fujin, you're free _today_. I give up Zell, and you and Raijin can live a normal life. Happily." He gave a small smile.

"We don't want to be free at your expense," Fujin responded. "And you haven't answered my question." She glared at him, kicking him when he didn't give an answer. Seifer bit the mug from surprise, then gave a whine.

"Owww." He glared at the albino, who glared back. Sighing, he brushed back his hair, a nervous habit that developed, once again, due to Zell. "He's beautiful, Fujin. I wake up next to him and he reminds me of an angel. He reminds me of…" Seifer paused, trying not to cry.

"How things could have been," she answered for him. "Raijin and I, we don't want you to give that up, Seifer."

"It's too late," Seifer murmured, and Fujin cocked her head. Seifer realized what he had said and shook his head. "No, I mean, Zell's already turned in. They've got patrols keeping us in here, remember?"

Fujin raised her eyebrow. "Seifer, don't give me this hopelessness. You commanded an _army_. You aren't this helpless." She paused. "You aren't telling me something."

There was no doubt about it, Seifer wasn't meeting her eyes. "I'll try, Fujin. Meet me at eight on the roof."

Fujin nodded, getting up. She walked to the exit, stealing a scribbled-down SeeD number as she left. Seifer closed the door, trying desperately not to cry. Fujin would find out soon enough what he was hiding, though she was right. He needed Zell out, now, before he turned Zell in.

His stomach stopped hurting as he thought of a plan. He'd see what Zell had junctioned, and hopefully, stop or slow the guards. He got backpacks together for the two of them, with bread and water and clothes.

Two hours later, he opened the door and looked in. Zell was sleeping gently, holding a pillow to his chest in place of Seifer. Zell looked absolutely adorable in the darkness.

Seifer flicked on the light nonchalantly. As the light hit his eyes Zell gave a sharp moan- too tired for a yell- and moved the pillow to hit his eyes. "Hey, beautiful." Beautiful was right, he noted. The covers had managed to fall so low his boxers were being shown. Boxers that were too big, he noted, almost falling off… he wiped the drool away from his mouth.

Sneakily, he crawled over to the foot of the bed, suddenly climbing on top of the other blonde. He pressed his lips to Zell's naked chest, kissing up and down it. Zell giggled in response. "That tickles."

"Does it?" Seifer murmured, licking under his ribs gently, and Zell nodded, taking off the pillow. He looked at Seifer with half-lidded eyes, almost as if Seifer was going to please him.

"You look happy," Zell mumbled and Seifer licked him some more, getting more giggles in the process. Seifer stopped and moved to Zell's neck, just nuzzling him. Zell wrapped his arms around the taller blonde in the process.

"You need to get up, Zell," Seifer whispered in his ear. "And you need to get junctioned."

Zell sat up quite quickly, staring at him incredulously. "J-Junctioned? What?"

Seifer responded by kissing Zell's mouth quite passionately, pinning Zell back into the bed and pulling away just as quickly. Zell was breathless. Hyne, this kind of foreplay could have been used last night!

Seifer stroked his tattoo gently. "We're going to fight our way out, Chicken. I need you to use magic."

Zell groaned. "With the hard-on you've given me I doubt I can _walk_, let alone fight." He paused for emphasis as Seifer played with his boxers. "That _really_ helps."

Seifer grinned, sending a shiver of anticipation down Zell's spine. "I can take care of this, if that's all right," he whispered, lightly rubbing Zell through his boxers.

Panting, Zell gave his response. "Fuck yes," he stated as quickly as he possibly could. Seifer scooted on him, leveling his mouth with Zell's ear to whisper into it. His hands stopped.

"If you don't get up, Chicken, something drastic will happen," he murmured, and his hands took Zell's wrists and pinned them to the bed. Zell swallowed, too awed to say anything. He just nodded slightly. Seifer continued.

"Like…for instance, you might be a fuck-slave," Seifer stated, and Zell whimpered. He could live with being Seifer's fuck-slave. It was what he'd been dreaming about.

"To the boss's tiny, wrinkled penis that shoots out green puss from whatever 80 STDs that suckers got."

Zell's face showed obvious disgust and Seifer laughed, getting up and giving Zell a quick kiss before escaping into the living room. "You had _better_ run, Almasy!" Zell yelled, quivering at the image. Well, Seifer _had_ gotten rid of his problem, to say the least.

Seifer peeped back in, looking at the blonde as his eyes unfocused, communicating with his GF. Seifer wasn't sure who it was, but knew Zell carried some really powerful ones. He smiled softly and returned to what he was doing.

Zell had finished junctioning stats, so he pulled on his shorts. It was only after he placed on his shoes (the shirt could wait, besides, he owed Seifer) when he heard a racket from upstairs and a knock on their door. Zell pulled on his shirt quickly as it opened.

"Run!" Seifer's voice shouted, and there was a sound of glass breaking. Someone had punched Seifer. Zell casted haste and he attempted to move to the window. Someone cancelled it instantly.

A gun met his neck as an arm met his side. He froze, trying to listen as he heard a cold, amused whisper. "You haven't even said goodbye, beautiful."

The boss, J-ran(1) owned that voice. Zell swallowed as he tried to think of a spell that wouldn't hit Zell as well, but none came to mind. J-ran led him out the door and into the hall. Seifer was bleeding, having been thrown into the TV.

"Seifer!" Zell called, and Seifer avoided his gaze. Fujin and Raijin were brought down, Fujin quite angry. In fact, both men escorting her were limping and had black eyes.

"LIAR!" Fujin shouted at Seifer, kicking him as hard as she could in his right leg. There was a crack and Seifer winced, not looking at her, either. Zell stood, confused.

"Now, now," J-ran stated. "Seifer here joined us to set you two free. You could be nice to him."

Zell felt a shock. "Seifer?" he asked, quietly. Fujin punched the said blonde, who fell back into the broken TV.

"Fujin, Fujin," the boss stated, and Fujin spun, eyes falling sadly upon Zell before J-ran cast slow. "You're upset for the wrong reason. You see, it was Seifer's _mission_ to capture Zell, not the fact that he'd turn Zell in to get you two free. See, he made this decision about three days ago. I gave him a mission to capture beautiful here," at this point, J-ran paused to kiss Zell lightly on the forehead and Zell looked to Seifer for help. "and he delivered, though I'm seeing he had some second thoughts." J-ran's voice darkened.

Raijin stood next to her, looking down at the broken ex-knight. "Seifer…" he said sadly.

"It had to be done," Seifer snapped, getting up. "Both of you, get out, and stop feeling sorry for me." Raijin resisted throwing a punch. A member of the gang then cast esuna on Fujin. Fujin kicked Seifer again, causing his collapse and the two walked out, angrily. Fujin did pause to kick one of the black-eyed men in the groin, and it was safe to say he never had children.

Zell had said nothing of relative importance this entire time, but now he sprung to life, a sick heavy question on his mind. The gun pressed closer to his neck, and Zell decided to save his spells for an escape.

"Sometimes you surprise me, Seifer," J-ran said. "You did, however, tell Zell to run, and you will be punished for that. You know who to follow."

Seifer was led away and Zell felt his heart break. Seifer betrayed him. Seifer used him. Seifer never loved him. He'd been stupid to believe such a thing.

"You are sooo cute, you little readable thing," J-ran stated, watching his face. "You're crushed. I be he was _real_ nice to you."

"Get off me," Zell hissed. "Get your hands _off_ me."

The boss laughed, kissing Zell lightly again. "When I found him, he was delusional. Kept calling out names, trying to find people."

Zell shook his head, not wanting to hear. The boss continued, and Zell was trying to ignore how J-ran was forcing them to stand close together. "He called out your name, enough to make me inquire. He told me you were _his_ beautiful, so I had to meet you." The boss motioned for everybody to clear out of the apartment. The apartment door shut, and Zell was led to the car.

adfh5a

(1) I've never done these odd things before. Huh. No, I wanted you all to know the Boss did not have a name until I re-wrote this chapter. He was simply going to be known as "The Boss". What glee.

Yay! Thank you all for reviewing. I hope to continue this with more chapters and much more frequent updates. Look for new stories, too!

ends shameless plug


	8. Chapter 8

Narrative basically focuses (or tries to) on the two blondes of the story. No, Quistis is not one. This is why some things shall be left up to your imagination, such as who summoned SeeD and the coolness of Raijin…

Silly peoples.

Disclaimer: Don't own FF8!

Warnings: One chapter away from yaoi. Yay! Evil men and gropes and a bit of bondage in this chappie. I seem to always put in bondage.

XD

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8.

Zell swallowed, trying to ignore the cuffs that bit into his skin. His feet were allowed to touch the floor as he stood upright, while still chained to the ceiling. He tried to ignore the way the boss pressed against him, trying to seduce Zell. Zell had started to cry as J-ran told him of Seifer's betrayal, but then J-ran had licked away his tears. Now he just stood, listening to empty, meaningless words as his mind scrambled for answers.

Seifer used him. The idea itself stung his soul. Seifer never loved him. Seifer _used _him.

A sharp slap brought him back into reality. "You are like a doll," J-ran mused. "Beautiful, but with glazed eyes." Zell glared at him, saying nothing.

J-ran chuckled and shook his head. "Well, then, SeeD, I think we should get this party started." He moved to a large desk topped with glasses and brandies and whiskies and other hard liquors that Zell couldn't name. Pouring a drink, he continued. "Tell me about what you know, pretty. I'm interested in what your spying could dig up."

Zell kept his mouth shut. J-ran laughed. "Oh, please. SeeD isn't coming to rescue you- and if they should, they'll find it very hard to attack." J-ran offered a drink, and Zell shook his head. J-ran smiled again and set the glass down, pouring one for himself. "We have _her_ protection."

"Ultimacia is dead," Zell stated quickly. J-ran smiled, almost as if expecting that and took a drink.

"Not quite." He chuckled to himself. "Oh, you were close, little SeeD. Very close to the truth in your mission." He set down the drink and then drug Zell to him. "Almost like now, nothing but a thin layer of protection keeping you away."

If that statement was meant to excite Zell, it backfired. Almost at once he thought of Seifer, and almost at once he felt like crying. J-ran rolled his eyes and walked away. "You are hopeless," he stated.

Zell shrugged, a saddened smile on his face. J-ran took another drink, deciding his course of action. Continue trying to get some fun out of Zell? Try to find out what _limited_ information Zell knew?

There was a knock on the door, and Zell's heart sunk. "Boss, Seifer wants a word with you."

J-ran chuckled, taking the third shot of drink. "Ah, he'll bargain for your freedom, I'll bet. I've never seen such a love-sick puppy in all my years." The boss exited the room and Zell stood, frozen as his ears picked up words his mind wouldn't comprehend. _He…He loves me?_

The thought rolled itself around in his head, to the point Zell didn't hear the door open. A loud snap brought his eyes to face Seifer's. Zell hung his head, not wanting to look at the taller blonde. Seifer was limping on the foot Fujin _hadn't_ kicked. Blood dripped on the floor, and Zell looked up.

Seifer's face was a complete mess. His eyes were puffed out and starting to turn black, his mouth seemed to have been hit repeatedly, and his chest seemed worse off. Zell couldn't help but feel completely worried about the man before him.

Seifer had him in a hug. It seemed Seifer felt the same way about him, but Zell hadn't been beaten at all. "You're safe," Seifer whispered gratefully, tremors going through him. Zell realized his coat was gone, and nudged Seifer's neck with his head, the only real free part of his body. "Zell… I've made a deal."

Another deal, Zell thought sadly. His heart fell.

Seifer seemed to sense it at once and shook his head. "No, no, no. This one will keep you safe. And I need you to agree." Seifer met Zell's eyes and the cold glittering blue was not helping his hopes.

Zell shook his head. "I've had enough of your deals, Seifer," Zell stated quietly. His heart ached at the sight of Seifer's face. It looked completely shattered, apart from the obvious cuts and bruises. Seifer's eyes were desperate.

"It…It would keep you safe, Zell." Seifer whimpered. "The ritual….you'd be my lovely…" Tears formed, and Seifer tried not to spill them. "No one could touch you after that," he stated, shaking away his tears.

"Seifer…" Zell stated weakly.

Seifer gave a smile. "They won't kill you, Zell. They'll keep you alive for as long as they can." He touched the tattoo gently. "You're so beautiful, Zell."

Zell blushed and tried to ignore the touch. "Why won't they kill me?" he asked.

Seifer smirked, moving his head down. The answer clicked into place right before Seifer kissed him.

Who better to serve Ultimacia in the New Age than her knight? And what would insure his loyalty?

Who he loved hanging over his head.

Their lips parted and Seifer saw that Zell knew. Zell's doubt had suddenly been removed, though his logical side told him not to believe just yet. J-ran entered, not wanting this to be too long. "Well, Seifer, has Zell given his answer?"

Seifer shook his head. "I haven't formally asked."

J-ran grinned. "Well, then, I'll explain to our little friend." He moved Zell so Zell was sitting on the bed, and arms down though still bound. Zell glared at J-ran and J-ran pinched his cheek. "Adorable. Well, little SeeD, it's like marriage. You can never fuck anyone else afterward."

Zell looked up at Seifer. Seifer had his eyes closed. _It's_ _true,_ Zell thought. J-ran continued. "You'll have to be in chains. You'll have to be in pain. If it doesn't work, you'll never look at Seifer the same way again." J-ran watched for a statement. Zell's mouth opened, but J-ran jumped it. "And you'd be the fucked, pretty."

Seifer's eyes opened. J-ran must think Zell would say yes if he was interrupting, but Zell's face was unreadable. Zell didn't know anything about this. He didn't even think he would deserve such a gift from Zell, but it would keep Zell safe.

And once Seifer died, Zell would be free- the Code demanded it. He looked at his beautiful, thinking quietly, knowing there was much more than what facts he had. Zell looked at Seifer, who met his eyes. _Please believe me,_ he tried to show. _Please be safe._

Zell gave a small smile. "So it's like a sexual fantasy, then?"

J-ran was fuming, and Seifer gave a grin. "It's a _marriage_, Zell! You'd never, ever have anyone else!"

Zell's eyes darkened. "I accept his offer, J-ran."

Seifer's heart lifted considerably. After Zell accepted, he would be treated as if the ritual had worked. J-ran _couldn't_ touch him. At least for one night, Zell was safe- and would be moved to Seifer's cell- er, room, he remembered. He had a room now. J-ran glared at him. J-ran angrily called for his underlings, and they escorted Zell away.

"Know this," J-ran fumed. "If it _doesn't_ work, I will be fucking him _every_ night, whether he wants it or not."

Seifer gave a smug grin. "With you? He'd probably be top." He limped out, and J-ran fell back into his chair, sighing. Once again, Her Knight had made the smartest tactical maneuver available. Laughing to himself, he sat up and got another drink. Griever would bless them _himself._ And once Griever appeared, they could find _her_.

"The Knight has chosen,"he sang to himself.

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Zell was thrown into the empty room, angrily getting up as the door shut. He wondered where he was, and in SeeD fashioned, looked around and explored as much as he could. In Zell fashion, he tried to clean as much as he could. There were three small rooms, in a room about the size of his SeeD dorm. The main hall had a tiny kitchenette (filled with nothing, Zell noted. No pots or pans or food.) and the kitchenette held a sink, a stove, and an oven. A tiny fridge was on the countertop. The water did work, and Zell used his sock as a rag to dust off the counter.

Then there was a small sofa, and an old TV that resembled Seifer's. Zell quietly touched the surface before bouncing to the next room. The bathroom wasn't that nice, either. There was a cute for laundry and a cute for trash, next to a mirror and a sink. The paint was peeling off in corners and the tiny window (the only one Zell had seen so far) showed that they were in an apartment complex. He'd seen that. This worried him, if the group could control so much they pretty much rivaled SeeD, didn't they? Isn't that why Squall wanted them gone?

There was a shower-and-tub-in-one, and Zell opened a tiny linen closet filled with mothball-smelling towels. There were feminine hygiene products as well, so Zell decided he was either with a woman in the room or this was a simple basic room setup.

Sighing, Zell took his sock and cleaned out the dust of the bathtub. He threw his sock down the laundry cute and took off his other one to continue the cleaning. He finished, and moved to the next room, tripping over his shoes he'd forgotten in the middle of the floor.

The last room had a big, double-bed and a painting of Ultimacia over it. Zell got shivers as he stood in front of it, staring at it. She looked…sad, like she always had. Her eyes shown a radiating weariness and Zell moved to study it further. He expertly tripped over a chair.

"Damnit," he stated, trying to pick it back up. He placed the trench coat over it, growling. Then the red cross decided to meet his eye and he held the coat.

He was with Seifer again. He rocked back and forth happily until the feminine products raced in his mind.

_Why the hell would Seifer want those?_ He thought. They weren't exactly _useful_, unless Seifer had a cut on his…

Ahem. Zell shook his head, trying not to turn red-faced.

The door opened a little later on, and Zell bounced out of the room to see two minions throwing Seifer into the room. "It's tomorrow," One black-eyed once hissed. Zell was reminded of Fujin and winced in sympathy.

"Don't go wanderin' around," the other stated. "We got orders ta keep ya here."

Seifer chuckled weakly, too wounded to make an effort for a flip off. One casted a curaga and the door slammed shut. Seifer stood, wounds healed. Zell emerged with his coat. "Seifer?" he asked, confused.

"I'm all right, Zell," Seifer stated, moving next to him. "Just tired." He took his coat and moved to the bed, flopping down on it in a way that made Zell chuckle. "Did he hurt you, Zell?" he asked.

"No," Zell stated, watching as Seifer flung the coat over the table. "He tried, but you interrupted."

"Ah, at least that's one good thing, eh?" Seifer looked at Zell. "I'm sorry," he stated, and Zell said nothing, straightening the coat on the chair. Seifer sat up. "I'm sorry for everything, Zell."

Zell nodded, trying to fight the tears. Seifer sighed and held him, pulling him onto the bed. Zell cried freely, never feeling so used and pathetic in his life. "They took Quez," Zell cried. "They took her and she wasn't mine, she was Selphie's, and he tried to touch me and I was afraid…I was afraid…"

"Afraid of what, Zell?" Seifer asked, and Zell turned to him, smiling at his own stupidity.

"Afraid you didn't love me," Zell stated, crying again. This time Seifer had to lay down to fit the blond on his body.

"Oh, Zell," Seifer told him, wrapping his arms around him. "I don't think I'll ever stop."

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(1)I'm trying to actually make space between author's notes and the story. Does anyone else find this new glitch annoying? Now we have to place lines or something when we need a single blank space to continue the story. I think it breaks up the flow.

Anyway….


	9. Chapter 9

9

Disclaimer: Don't own FF8. Square Enix does.

Warnings: Yaoi. :p Creepy ritual. Kinda.

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Zell was led into the stone chamber, wearing a dress he had grudgingly accepted. It wasn't much of a dress- basic design, easy to take off. It was red, Seifer's color. He hadn't seen Seifer all day, and it bothered him. J-ran had mentioned if this didn't go well Zell would be visiting him every night.

Seifer had assured him it would go well, even bothering to continue in the darkness of the night, but Zell was still worried. He was trusting Seifer with just about _everything_, as he remembered. He was trusting Seifer and hoping they'd be blessed by a GF. Seifer told him if a GF didn't happen to bless them, just say it anyway, and then managed to tell him the benefits of such a coupling.

They would never be able to have another partner while the other was alive. Seifer had told him not to worry about that with the saddest look in his eyes. Then Seifer moved on to the fact that Zell would not be touched by any other man- it would cause both great pain. Zell would be expected to help out, but not like Seifer was- Zell might help in laundry, or in cooking. Not on the field, selling drugs for money or attacking SeeD. And they would

It really was a cult, Zell thought, as he entered the room. Not a gang, as Squall told him. A cult.

The room was seemingly composed of stone, with tapestries and such around it. There were candles and pots of earth and bowls of water and incense and other elemental attributes. Those were for marking, Zell noted, swallowing. Not a permanent marking, Seifer had assured him, but a representative marking, showing you did indeed belong to the other and that they belonged to you.

Seifer was waiting, eyes red and puffy, but Zell didn't think about that. The guards left, and Seifer came up to him. "I've said just about everything," Seifer told him. Zell hugged him happily.

"You didn't tell me I had to wear a dress." Zell complained, and laughed at Seifer's face. "I'm teasing, Seifer."

"Yeah," Seifer stated, out of character for a moment. "It's a tunic, Chicken. I know you don't have many brains but try." He laughed as Zell rolled his eyes. "Zell?"

Zell looked up at Seifer, knowing what the extended hand would offer. He hoped to Hyne this was a good decision, because, quite frankly, nothing else was going to work and Seifer wasn't really all that bad, right?

Seifer tried speaking but he couldn't. Every time he tried the words lodged themselves up in his throat, not wanting to say themselves because he really didn't deserve the blonde in front of him. Zell paused, then shook his head, somehow understanding. Leaning up on his tippy-toes, he tried to get next to Seifer's ear and whispered, "I'll lay with you, Seifer."

Seifer gripped him tightly, trying to tell himself this wasn't a dream. "Okay, then," he stated, almost afraid of using Zell's name. "You wanna get undressed or do you want-"

Zell chuckled. "Just feel it, baby," he told him. "I don't think I have anymore experience than you." With that, Zell took off Seifer's shirt, kissing along his chest.

Zell had the right idea, Seifer noted. He just didn't want to fuck this up- it really, really could be ruined easily. So he took charge, like the lover he was supposed to be, and undid the cord on Zell's tunic, trying not to gasp as Zell's delicious nakedness was exposed in front of him. Sensing Zell's embarrassment, Seifer dropped his own pants and Zell blushed twice as red as he could have been. Seifer kissed him gently, leaving enough space between them. "Zell…" he whispered, and Zell looked at the bed, in the middle of some huge but unknown symbol. The bed was circular in representative for unending love, but Zell just didn't care. His skin was starting to tingle, and he no longer felt afraid.

"Kiss me again," Zell teased, and Seifer complied, both now starting to feel excited despite the fear and worry and heaviness on their chests. Zell let go and kissed Seifer's cheek, lying down on the bed. Seifer went over, tying Zell's hands behind Zell's head, watching him gently like he would a doll.

"You're beautiful," he stated, watching as Zell's chest moved as he breathed, mesmerized.

Zell watched him, too, quite more eager than Seifer was. Seifer was still staring at him like he was a painting, and it was going straight to Zell's head. "Seifer," he almost whined. "I trust you."

Seifer blinked and then smiled, kissing Zell yet again, Zell trying to insert tongue. Seifer suckled on it for a bit. Letting, go, Seifer asked, "What do you see when you think of me? Like a symbol or something?"

Zell thought, a cute child-like pose on his face. "Um… your fire cross, I guess." Seifer gave a grin, getting up. Zell blinked. "Hey! Hey! That didn't look like a G-rated grin!"

Seifer picked up a candle. "It's not," he responded, walking over. "It's the Marking, lovely." He poured it onto Zell's chest, the wax hardening slowly from Zell's natural body heat.

It stung. Zell's neck flashed upwards as he tried to withstand the pain. It really wasn't painful, he reminded himself, it was just like melted wax. Hot. Hot, and on his chest, and in red, and- he opened his eyes. "No," he stated simply, and Seifer retreated the candle from Zell's cock.

"No fun," Seifer whined and Zell laughed at him.

"You betcha, baby. When I get my hands free you can try that, but not today." Zell flashed Seifer a grin. "So…what do I remind you of? Ish." He added, wondering if he asked the question correctly.

"Your tattoo," Seifer stated instantly, sighing. "You get wax, and I get a taser."

"Beh. Skip it and just…do me," Zell stated. "A taser isn't any fun, besides, I'm sure you'll get me all over your chest and we'll just lie and say that's it."

Seifer chuckled. "You are going to be insatiable, aren't you?" He kissed Zell's neck.

"'nuff bed talk," Zell told him, a sudden haze coming into play. He took in Seifer's fingers, sucking on them and getting them wet with spit. J-ran had "forgotten" their lube, and so Seifer was going to compromise. Seifer pulled the fingers away, reaching into Zell's hole. One finger slipped past Zell's ring of muscle, and Zell squirmed, getting used to it. "Seifer," he stated, the squirming simply making him hotter. He was squirming, bedding someone else, and Seifer looked completely… happy. Amazed.

"Yeah, Zell?" Seifer asked, teasing. He could tease. He started to add another finger and slipped it out quickly, grinning evilly as he heard Zell's whine.

"Bastard," Zell stated, and growled as Seifer stopped moving. Zell bucked for a bit. "Nooooo," he complained. "Fuck me…"

Seifer stretched him again, three fingers this time, wondering how this tightness would fit around him. It was burning, it was fierce, and- he grinned. Flick.

Zell spasmed, back arching and chest heaving forward as his body focused on that one point. "Yes," Zell cried out, not so much for an answer, but a basic way to let Seifer know, "I liked that and if you don't do it again I'll bite off your balls." Seifer did it again, and this time it was his name that Zell cried on his lips.

:_Could you leave him, in this moment?_:

Seifer looked at the fighter, wondering and then realized if Zell demanded it, he truly could. He shouldn't forget this was for Zell's protection, not for Zell's pleasure. Not for _his_ pleasure.

:_Why must you love him, Uncle?_:

Seifer blinked at the voice and gave an answer. Maybe this was the GF thing. _I'm not… sure. Just am, and I'm going to protect him._ The voice paused and Seifer's thoughts scrambled for a moment, and the voice returned.

:_You always were a martyr, Uncle…_:

"Seifer!" Zell cried, snapping him back into the moment. Seifer leaned over Zell, kissing down his chest. Zell was already sweaty and Seifer relished in it. "Seifer…please."

Seifer adjusted Zell's body, each with a hitched breath of anticipation. When he was ready, Zell looked at him and nodded, no words between them. Seifer pushed through.

Zell's head flew back. Hyne… Seifer felt so big, and so good, pressing against him. He tried to move his hips but it didn't work, Seifer truly did have Zell in his control. Zell fell back, knowing there was a way he could drive Seifer crazy.

There was a gasp and a pause from the taller blonde, met by a crazy grin of Zell's. Seifer smirked, leaning over to kiss Zell. "You keep that up and I'll come before you do." Zell clenched his ass again in response, and Seifer started ramming away. Once he hit Zell's prostate right Zell was crying out his name, moaning and gasping, watching as Seifer came around to pump him in time. It was too much, this double sensation, and Zell came, spattering over Seifer's chest like he thought. His chest burned suddenly, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Seifer suddenly climaxed, too, shooting into Zell's ass and Zell blushed with pride, with _pride, _that he held Seifer's seed.

Seifer pulled out, looking at his chest. "I think it is your tattoo," he whispered eerily, and Zell blinked. It was. Then Zell decided that he was too tired to care at that point and closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Seifer," Zell whispered.

:_Very trusting of you, Uncle,_: Came the voice.

_I don't think he's a bad person. He's mean, sure, but inside…_

:_Always seeing the best in people, Uncle,_: the voice stated, chuckling. :_Make a wish. Make a fate._:

Zell's eyes opened as he looked at the blonde cradling him, untying his hands. As soon as his hands were free he pulled the gunbladist into a hug, and the gunbladist responded tightly. _Seifer…_Zell thought, thinking hard on his wish. _I wish I could love you freely._

:_Freely?_: the voice asked. :_You would still love him, even if this were not over your head?_: Zell nodded, squeaking as he realized there was a voice in his head.

A wind picked up in the room and Seifer's hug turned to a protective grip. Zell gave a meep sound and Seifer allowed Zell to move his head. Candles flickered, and a very, very, miniaturized version of Griever stood there, bowing before them.

"_Take good care of each other. There are more blessings in this than Ultimacia ever predicted._" With that, Griever disappeared- and Zell blinked, realizing Quez was back in his head.

"Hey, wai-" Seifer cut Zell off with a kiss, one that eventually led to Zell falling back onto the bed.

There was a knock on the door, and Zell growled. Seifer chuckled and handed Zell a cloth to cover himself in, picking up his own pants, putting them on, and answering it. J-ran stood, a not so amused expression on his face. "It worked," he stated coldly, and Seifer smiled.

"Yeah," he responded. "It worked."

J-ran muttered several curse words and hit something. "You're covered in cum," he stated finally. "I'll expect you to wash that off by tomorrow. For now, you may have the day off." He slapped Seifer suddenly. "You're a fool," he stated. "Only fools ask for the ritual this early in their careers. You could have had anyone."

"I didn't want _any_one," Seifer responded, and Zell blushed again. J-ran made as if to hit him again, but did not, growling.

"Your GF?" he asked.

"Griever," Seifer stated, watching as J-ran's eyes lit up. "If you don't mind, my lovely and I have the day off." Zell stuck his tongue out at the boss who only chuckled inwardly.

"Safe for now, my pretty," J-ran muttered, and left. Robes were handed to them, and Seifer placed Zell in one.

"You look good," Seifer remarked, causing Zell to kiss him again. The two exited the room, not looking back.

../../../../../../../../../../../../…/../../../../../.

Peh. Not really too much to say other than this entire scene has morphed from it's original idea.

Ps. Does anyone know the titles and numbers to the Crushers Manga? I've been obsessed for some time now, but I can't seem to find them anywhere, and the official site is closed (or has moved or something). If you do, please e-mail me.

Back to the story… I'd say we are about midway though, kids. More dark stuff, and more abused and saddened Zell. Hehehe.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: I couldn't help myself. The kitchen was just so fun. You may feel free to insert yourself as a random old woman. I don't usually like adding characters, but I promise they'll stay in this chapter and this chapter alone. (aside from J-ran. He's just an evil bastard and I didn't get many of those while playing FF8. There was the president, but he's dead, and I really couldn't screw with life that much.)

Disclaimer: Don't own the boys. The women _are_ mine, and I'm sharing, unlike some huge gaming company… didn't your mothers tell you to share, Square Enix, not charge money?

I'm putting the (1) up here so you don't have to break the flow of the story at the end. (1) I found a place! I placed the story in a town! With a name!

Is this the end? Not a chance, but it could be. Wouldn't that be fun? Aren't I evil?

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The women of the kitchen were all very nice, and all past 37, and very much into Zell's personal life. They were just like his Ma, save for the Co-head cooks. One was a man named Justin who Zell thought looked at his ass from time to time, and one was a woman named Terra who didn't ask anything and seemed to avoid contact as much as possible. Most of the women had husbands in the "army" as they called it, and really couldn't explain why they had come here. Not one had done the ritual; instead their previous form of marriage had been enough.

Zell was peeling carrots by the hundreds as instructed. At first, he thought maybe there were hundreds of soldiers, and the woman next to him laughed. There wasn't much point in taking on Garden with hundreds of soldiers, was there? No, there wasn't. So instead, there were thousands, more than half of Timber(1) and some imported men from Deling City. The face was this was a gang or an uprising against Galbadia, but Zell knew from Seifer it was an excuse to return Ultimacia to this world. Unfortunately, the lady next to him patted his head and told him he was cute instead of believing him.

He finished the next row of carrots and placed them on the cutting board, where the brown-haired lady stood and cut them. She wore triangle-shaped earrings, as opposed to the lady to his right, who was blonde and had square ones. Then there was a lady with white hair, not from aging, with circular earrings next to the blonde, and back to his left a lady with kitten heads dangling from chains. He felt like he was in geometry class. Angles and lines and shapes, oh my!

"Oi! Lola, did you even wash these?" the triangle lady(Teresa) called. Lola, with the squares, flipped her off and spoke some very unlady like language.

"So, anyway, sweety," the Circle Lady (Jessee) said, pulling carrots out of a huge bag, "Tell us about this _man_ of yours."

Zell blushed and kept peeling. It seemed none of the ladies here was homophobic, or if they were, they were in the minority. Instead, they were more worried Zell wouldn't have a good relationship due to inexperience and were determined to fix it up- all the way to telling what kind of condoms Seifer should use and what sweets tasted good with cum.

"Um…he's nice, and hot."

"They're always hot," the Kat Lady (Kat, actually) replied automatically. "That's the same thing you've told us all morning!" The other women agreed and Kat placed the chopped-up carrots in the fifth huge pot.

"Tell us more!" Lola stated, giving Zell a little nudge with her shoulder. "What's he like in bed?"

"Ohh, yes!" Teresa squealed. "Is he good to you?"

Zell turned darker. "We discussed this already," he mumbled. Did he say his Ma? He meant Selphie.

"So…how does he kiss?" Jessee asked. "Deep and fast? Pecks? Teasingly?"

"I love it when Brian teases," Lola murmured and Zell scooted away from her. "Yes," Zell responded automatically to the question. Rolling his eyes he added, "He's a good kisser in both places." Albeit Seifer had never done anything like that. They'd only had the ritual _yesterday_!

Where was SeeD? Zell wondered. SeeD should have been there yesterday. Now it was about two pm and he was stuck with crazy aged Selphies!

After the remark all the women had squealed with delight and demanded more information. How much pressure? Did he ever use champagne? Did he blow, too?

There was a sudden roar and everyone hushed. "FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP LOOKING AT HIS ASS AND FUCKING COUNT THE FLOUR!" Zell winced and turned around, looking and a very angry Terra and a bleeding Justin. "This is not fucking easy to bake, you know!"

"I should know! I taught it to you!" Justin roared back, and Terra raised the frying pan again. Justin got all flustered and then growled. "At least his ass is something compared to yours, you ugly bitch!"

The frying pan flew along teeth with as it hit. Then it became a frenzy of cooking women and two angry Co-Cooks, and several women had to pry Terra off him. Zell casted a curaga in the crowd and went back to the carrots. Kat shook her head, joining him.

"He's always looking at other women and men. Drives Terra nuts. They're bonded, you know." She nodded to Justin. "She loved him so he agreed, but he thought she was going to die. A sacrifice."

Jessee came back over. "Yeah, it gets pretty bloody, though it depends on which end. Terra survived her mission and she knew Justin didn't love her back. She's died emotionally. I think she feels guilty she did this to him."

Zell looked at Kat. "Why'd they do it if Justin didn't love her?"

Lola came back next, wiping her hands. "Terra joined, some sort of family threat, and Justin was on their deathrow. So it was alright she did this, because if she dies, Justin is free."

Jessee poked her head into the conversation. "He keeps killing her mentally, you know. Telling her insults and trying to get her to kill herself. It gets pretty ugly, but they can't break it. They've gone so far as to live in separate rooms."

Zell bit his lip. Justin was free if Terra died? Would that mean-

Suddenly Seifer's words made sense and the reason his face was so cold. /Don't worry about that./ Zell spun around to leave. He saw J-ran instead. "What's going on in here?" J-ran asked, shaking his head.

Terra held up the pan, ready to strike at the Co-cook. J-ran sighed and walked up to Terra. "Yes, Terra. We know you can hurt him. We know he's a bastard. Come here." He wrapped her up in a hug, somehow being a good person in charge despite the death threats and slaps and punches that had come from him. Justin growled from on the floor.

Terra flinched at the touch and then cried, and Zell noted for a moment that Justin's face flickered, though he couldn't tell with what. J-ran sighed and switched Lola with Terra, and Terra came and stood by him.

Zell swallowed. "Terra?" he asked, and she turned to him, with puffy red eyes. "Does dying really break the ritual?"

"He did it yesterday," Kat suddenly assured her.

"He's a lover," Jessee lied. Zell looked at her oddly and she shook her head at him. Terra wiped her eyes, washing the carrots. Then it got him, Justin was her lovely. Ooh, boy.

"If the lover dies, the lovely is free to go where they please and free to love. If the lovely dies, the lover stays here and is free to love." She didn't say anything more.

It was true, Zell realized. Seifer was going to kill himself. Suddenly he rushed out of the kitchen, dropping his carrots. The ladies waved him goodbye and thought up pestering questions to ask the next day. Justin watched and turned to Terra, who still hadn't let go of the frying pan.

"J-ran!" Zell yelled into the hallway, and J-ran smirked. Ahh, it was good to see the blonde was finally warming up to him. Unfortunately, it would give them lots of pain if he tried anything now, so he turned, stopping. "Yes, my little SeeD?"

"I need to talk to Seifer, _now_." Zell glared up at the man. J-ran laughed and Zell shook his jacket, hard enough J-ran was tempted to call security. "I'm serious! Seifer's going to kill himself!"

J-ran blinked and then hit his head. He had _thought_ Seifer was being too simple in this, but he had been drunk at the time. It made sense now, Ritual Zell, and then kill yourself and Zell is free, making up for your error with Fujin and Raijin. J-ran nodded. "To your room, boy, and fly," he stated, running behind the blonde.

"Why the hell do you care about this?" Zell called to him as they darted down steps.

"Are you kidding me? He's Her knight," J-ran replied, and Zell darted into the correct hall. J-ran cursed himself mentally; he should have been able to see that! Zell made it to the door. He twisted the handle.

It wouldn't open.

"Seifer!" Zell yelled. "Seifer, open this door!" He pounded on it. Zell heard a drawer open. "Seifer!" he yelled again. "Seifer, hynedamn you, open the fucking door!" There was a chuckle. "Why, Chicken?"

"Because I want to see you!" Zell yelled. "I have to talk with you!" More pounding, and the chuckles faded away. "I don't want you to die!" Zell cried out suddenly. "I don't want you to go away!"

The footsteps stopped, then, at least. "Chicken, I'm-"

"No! You aren't helping me by killing yourself! You're just making me sad, because I love you, you ass!"

The footsteps returned to the drawer and the door opened. Seifer was amused. Zell stood, trembling.

"I was throwing away the feminine hygiene products standard to every room, Zell." Seifer wrapped him up in a hug. "But thank you." He sighed, and Zell cried into his arms.

"I thought…I thought I was going to loose you," Zell whimpered. Seifer shook his head, twisting his body to rock Zell back and forth.

"No, baby. Not a chance." Seifer kissed the top of his head, and for that Zell was glad he didn't have any gel. "Go get some water, huh? Let's talk about this, then." Zell nodded and entered the room.

J-ran stepped up to him. "I am not so easily deceived," J-ran hissed. "Know this: If you kill yourself, I will get Zell."

Seifer glared at him. "You can't. You have to set him free."

J-ran smirked. "I can do it with a tracer, can't I? I can pick him back up when he's walking in a park." The boss turned. "Have a nice day, Knight."

Seifer's fist clenched angrily and shut the door. Zell was waiting for him, with two glasses on a sofa. "_Because I love you, you ass!"_. The words echoed through Seifer's head. How could Zell love him? How did Zell know about the death effect?

"Let's talk," Zell told him, and Seifer sat. "First off," Zell started, "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. Second, I want you to know I love you- I wouldn't have trusted you if I didn't. Third, don't give me this crap about loving other people, and the chances I'd have with them. I'm happy _here_, with you."

"Not here," Seifer remarked, taking a sip. Zell shook his head, patting Seifer's leg.

"With you," Zell repeated, and Seifer felt guilty again, and that stupid nauseating feeling crept up.

"Where'd you hear about the death effect, Zell?" Seifer asked, sighing, setting his glass down. "That thing isn't mentioned unless you're the lover."

Zell nodded. "Yeah, I know. Terra and Justin got in a fight and the nice, creepy old ladies explained it to me."

Seifer nodded, picking up the cup. The legend of Terra and Justin was well-known, and in fact, he had copied it. He'd gotten the idea from Terra as she fed him his prisoner food. She had told him, "Make sure you die," with this harsh glint in her eye.

"Oh." Seifer took a sip.

"They want to know about our sex life," Zell continued, causing Seifer to cough violently. Zell realized his mistake and amended it. "The old ladies! The old ladies, not Terra and Justin!"

"We don't have one," Seifer remarked coldly, and Zell looked down, biting his lip.

"Well…" Zell started sheepishly. "Um… they gave us plenty of ideas. Mainly about food."

"Their entire life _is_ food," Seifer muttered. Realizing Zell was serious, he shook the tattooed blonde. "You _want_ a sex life?" he asked incuriously. "Hyne, Zell, are you _serious_?" He didn't think Zell would ever want him willingly, not after his huge mistake.

Zell nodded.

"I still want you, Seifer." The words echoed with a magic of their own through Seifer's head, forcing him to take calming breaths.

"Ok," Seifer stated. "We can do that, then." The smile on Zell's face suddenly made it worth it, and Seifer was inwardly pleased he could make Zell smile instead of make Zell angry, or sad.

"Thank you," Zell told him. "Do you have anything else to say?"

Seifer inhaled. "Zell, SeeD's going to attack soon, you know." Zell nodded, sipping the end of his water. "When that happens…I want you to meet me here. The rooms are actually the safest place to go; the laundry chutes lead to a huge pile of laundry and back escape tunnels. No one knows that but a few, so there won't be bodies falling on us."

Zell nodded. "All right, Seifer. I'll do that." Seifer placed his drink down and Zell gave an evil grin, sitting on Seifer's lap. Seifer managed a smile and pulled Zell down to him.

"Shall we give those old ladies something to talk about?" He whispered, sending shivers of anticipation down Zell's spine.

Zell nodded, and Seifer chuckled. "Tonight, Zell. I've got a bit to think about, and I'll get more, I'm sure." Zell gave a whine and Seifer laughed some more. "You're cute, you know."

Zell gave a grin. "Thanks, baby. I'm sorry I…sorry I thought you were gonna off yourself."

"Don't be sorry. Go cook a fine meal, my little housewife." Zell gave him the up-yours and laughed, running down the hall. Seifer laughed and then got the glasses, rinsing them off. He let the water run down them, hands in sink, water climbing up his arms. "Seifer, Seifer, Seifer," he scolded himself. "What will you do now?"

This was stupid, he remembered. He'd talked to himself about this. Zell would go back to SeeD and Seifer to wherever the hell Fujin and Raijin were, and the two would drift apart. Zell would want to seek men in his own profession, other SeeDs, much more normal and nicer and more supportive than Seifer. But Zell _couldn't_ be with those, due to this whole ritual. It kept Zell safe in the stupid cult, but not outside- it just hurt him.

He opened the drawer and took the knife he had earlier, watching as his reflection echoed across the smooth metallic surface.

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When Seifer had mentioned SeeD would attack soon, Zell didn't think it would be three hours later. The alarm had sounded and the Co-Cooks seemed to turn into one cook, Terra, the only person in the room with fighting expertise, aside from Zell.

"Ladies!" she told them, watching as they acted like chickens with their heads cut off. "LADIES!"

The women stopped, the halls eerily quiet aside from the alarm. Terra continued. "Groups of five, ladies. To the different laundry rooms. Remember where we'll all meet up?"

"Yes," they answered automatically. Lola took a handkerchief and tied up her hair in it.

"What?" she asked the looks of her carrot-making friends. "It's not like I'm going to _live_ through this."

The others sighed and reluctantly also placed other rebel-looking articles of clothing, Jessee going so far as writing a "fuck you SeeD" tattoo in sharpie. Terra sent off a group, and they all listened as the group ran away. Soon other groups were leaving, too. Another group, the potatoes, fled the scene.

Justin turned to her, and she pushed him out the door. "I'll die this time, don't worry," she told him, and the women around him forced him forward. Zell got a creeping feeling in his stomach. Terra pointed to the carrots, and the sandwiches at the same time. "Go," she told them sadly.

They left quickly. "Oi! Boy!" Teresa told him. "You look like a fighter." There were shouts from up above, the complex building suddenly seeming like a deathtrap in the middle of Timber. There were shots, too- things that brought back Zell's SeeD test into memory. He really hadn't been in anything like this since then, when they were hopelessly outnumbered and afraid.

Looking at the hallway, Zell decided to go for it. He flew down the stairs to his room, praying Seifer would still be there.

The ladies hollered their goodbyes, bringing out hidden weapons from their bras now that the "man" was gone.

"Take a grenade, SeeD scum!" Kat shouted, rushing up the stairs.

Zell raced through the hallways, once again hoping for Seifer to be alive. He didn't think his heart could do this anymore. This corner was familiar, he noted, and the firing grew dimmer. Finding his room, he kicked the door open. Seifer sat in the sofa, calmly. The tv wasn't on.

"Oh. I didn't think you'd be home," Seifer said nonchalantly. There was a sudden inhale, a gasp. Something was wrong, Zell realized. Why wasn't Seifer hugging him because he was safe? Why wasn't Seifer helping him into the chutes?

"Seifer?" he asked, walking over slowly. Maybe he didn't want to know, his mind told him. Whatever the caution, he made it over and gasped.

There was a pool of blood on the seat, a hole in Seifer's chest. Seifer offered him a weak smile. "You weren't supposed to see," he told Zell calmly. "You were supposed to go back to SeeD. You were supposed to live your life and be happy."

Zell took off his shirt quickly. "We've got to stop the bleeding," Zell responded, pressing it against the wound. Seifer winced, that hurt a bit. "Maybe there's a SeeD medic or-" he trailed off. "Curaga!" he shouted suddenly, but the spell bounced off a reflect Seifer had cast.

"Seifer, what have you-" Zell asked, realizing as he looked to the kitchen counter, seeing the knife and the trail of blood that led to it. "I thought we had talked about this," Zell told him, and Seifer shook his head.

"I really liked this TV," Seifer remarked offhandedly. "It was a gift from Fujin, you know. I think it was." He cocked his head. "Ah, well, I suppose it doesn't matter now."

Tears were pouring out of Zell's eyes and Zell went for the hall. "Medic!" Zell screamed. "Medic, Class A!" There wasn't anything but a few shouts and screams. An explosion above made plaster fall from the ceiling.

"Don't, Zell," Seifer called to him, coughing. "It doesn't hurt."

"Medic!" Zell screamed again, voice cracking. More explosions, more plaster. A door in front of him fell over.

"Zell?" Seifer asked. Zell turned. "I want you here. It's…It's not safe outside."

Zell swallowed and came over, sitting next to him. "Seifer?" He pressed the shirt against the wound some more, trying to buy time.

"I want you to know," Seifer said, voice straining. "You were worth this. And don't let," he took another breath, "Don't let anyone else tell you different. You're wonderful, Zell, and I love you so much."

Zell shook his head. "I don't get it Seifer. I love you."

"You don't know that," Seifer stated, closing his eyes. It was getting cold. "You don't know if you love me. This could be Stockholm syndrome for all we know. I'm going to set you free, Zell, and I'll be watching and waiting."

Shouts in the hallway upstairs. Gunfire.

Zell nodded, crying. Seifer paused. "Zell, one more thing." He took a raggedy breath, almost as if going to give a huge speech. "Somebody had to be Ultimacia, understand? Otherwise… things wouldn't work. She…she was really…really…" Seifer gasped, suddenly coughing out blood. "Hold me, Zell," he pleaded. "It's dark."

"SeeD units, area three!" came a shout, but Zell could only hear Seifer's request.

Zell obeyed without question, his chest feeling funny. "I love you," Zell told him, and Seifer smiled.

"Thank…you," Seifer told him, looking happy. His breathing grew raggedy and Zell looked for Lifes in his head, but there weren't any. Seifer took a few short breaths and soon the blood stopped flowing with a rhythm and just flowed with gravity.

"Hands up!" someone called from behind him. Zell held Seifer tighter.

"Do you have any Lifes?" Zell called to the person. "He needs…he needs help."

"Zell?" came the reply, and the person walked up. Seeing Seifer they took a breath. "Yeah, I'll try." The rival gunbladist cast life, and the wound closed up instantly.

Zell squeezed Seifer, laughing. "Seifer, Seifer we're gunna be okay!"

Squall placed a hand on Zell's shoulder lightly. "He's not breathing, Zell."

"I know," Zell stated angrily, trying to perform a curaga. It chocked into his body, but did nothing. Squall let him continue for ten full minutes before speaking again.

"He's gone, Zell."

Zell shook his head. "He can't be gone!" Zell cried. "He can't be!" Tears flowed onto a cooling body, hands gripped ones in a way that would be painful, if those hands could still feel.

Squall cast life again, but nothing happened so he pulled Zell up. "Come on, Zell. There will be more survivors, and we need to know-"

Zell nodded, getting up. "Yeah. Let's…let's go." Zell picked up a familiar, folded trench coat and carried it with him. "I just don't…wanna leave him, you know?"

"Zell, I can get SeeDs to take the body, if you'd like." Zell shook his head, tears flowing, but Squall made a note to do that anyway. He'd choose someone to make sure no one disgraced the body.

Squall walked a tired Zell out of the building without any trouble. As they exited he saw the relieved faces of SeeD friends first. Xu gave him a wave and Nida managed to say hello. The library girl even was there, and she gave him a hug. Squall took him to the refugee/prisoner camp, and Zell saw Justin sitting against the wall. Zell walked over to him, surprising Squall.

"Where's Terra?" he asked, and Justin gave a humorless laugh.

"She told me she was sorry she didn't die the first time," Justin managed. "She…she still loved me, despite all…all I did, you know?" Justin closed his eyes. "Maybe I tried too hard to…make her gone."

Zell swallowed and nodded, trying not to think of the body back inside the apartment complex. Suddenly he regretted all those stupid fights he had with Seifer. He regretted the times he'd wished Seifer would die.

Hell, he missed telling Seifer to shove it.

Squall took his shoulder comfortingly, the way Rinoa had taught him to, and led him back to the temporary headquarters. Rinoa was the first one to greet him.

"I was so worried, Zell! I'm glad to see you're safe." She gave him a quick hug and smiled. "What's that?" she asked, and Zell's lip trembled. Fujin and Raijin raced up to him, seeing him.

"SEIFER. WHERE?" Fujin asked. Zell lost control then, falling to the ground and sobbing hysterically into the coat.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Square owns them.

Had fun at Squall and Rinoa's expense this chapter. My apologies to them. I needed something that wasn't so somber. Really, who wants to cry their eyes out when they know it will be a happy ending?

Put your arm down.

11.

Squall sighed as he looked at the two very capable SeeDs, Xu and Nida, who had not done something that _seemed_ capable, and was listening to their excuse of why the capable and suddenly turned incapable. "You couldn't find it?" he asked, sadly. Zell was in his room and had been crying since he entered Garden, and while he figured Zell would just take the body and cry over it some more, it was still fair to bring the body. Now there was no body, and Squall didn't feel like explaining that, not like Squall really felt anything anyway.

Xu shook her head. "I'm sorry, Squall," she stated, and she did genuinely mean it. "There was lots of blood in the kitchenette, but there was a huge fire that an ice spell couldn't put out."

"We backed out for our own safety," Nida stated. "You told us not to compromise that."

Squall nodded, sighing and sat down in his chair. "Did you see J-ran anywhere?"

Xu shook her head. "He always escapes. He's always trying to bring Ultimacia back, but he knows our movements like we do. It's unnerving." Squall agreed, trying to show emotion, but it was hard after years of trying not to. The two SeeDs saluted and then exited the room.

Squall sighed and rubbed his eyes. This was starting to get uglier and uglier.

There came a gentle knock on the door, and Squall made a grunt. The door opened and Cid entered in, the red fuzzy vest replaced by a new blue one. "Zell's in his room still," he told Squall. "Not even Edea can coax him out." Cid sighed. "I didn't think he'd ever feel this strongly for Seifer."

"It doesn't strike me as odd," Squall responded, failing to note that seldom things did due to his incapacity to feel. "He's always had strong feelings, and towards Seifer especially. I wonder if their fighting was nothing more than elementary school attraction."

Cid nodded, wiping his glasses on a tissue he carried in his pocket. "It was a good strike against this faction, Squall. You did it for the best of everyone. Don't regret it."

"I don't," Squall stated harshly.

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(one day, Delta will figure this out. Until that day, she will be stuck frustrated.)

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Zell didn't feel like moving, or eating, or crying. Seifer's coat covered his body as he lay on his bed, head poked out of the collar. He faced the door, so he could yell at whoever interrupted his silence to leave.

He smiled at his thoughts. He was still wishing Seifer was here, wishing this was Seifer instead of his coat. How sad he must have looked, he thought, waiting for a dead man to come in and find him with red, puffy eyes and a tired posture.

Sleep wouldn't find him and take his pain away; it hadn't for hours. Zell kept wondering if his hands were still bloody, but he didn't check. He hadn't even replaced his shirt. Eerily the wish came back to him, the one he had made at the Ritual.

/I wish to love you freely…/

_I didn't mean this!_ Zell cried out in his thoughts, though his tears were long exhausted of their supply. _I didn't want you to die!_

There was a sudden fire on his chest. Hyne be damned, it felt like brimstone had been sewn into it. Zell writhed, spasaming at random angles with random limbs. It was pain, blinding pain and Zell could barely breathe. Zell was forced up and fell back, his body deciding the best way to deal with the pain was to pass out.

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Someone was kissing him. Zell relished in the kisses before he allowed his eyes to flutter open. There was a scar, he noted, between two eyes. His face broke into a grin.

"Hey, Seifer," he whispered, not wanting to shatter the moment. Wrapping his arms around the older blonde, he continued whispering. "I had a horrible dream."

"Did you?" Seifer asked him, tracing his tattoo with hurt eyes. Zell looked into his eyes and refused to see the hurt, the pain. He didn't want to focus on that. He pulled Seifer's face closer to his, kissing it gently.

Seifer responded, almost kissing him needily. Seifer pulled back and Zell continued. "I dreamed you were dead. You killed yourself and I watched you die."

Seifer nuzzled his neck. "What an odd dream," he agreed. Zell sighed. This was perfect- Seifer was alive, Seifer was in his arms, and they were together in a place far away from everyone.

_Speaking of which…_

The scenery held a grassy hill, and trees. There was also a river and clear sky, but the river was fuzzy and Zell couldn't make out the color of the sky.

"Where are we?" he asked.

Seifer shrugged and kissing him hesitatively. Zell gave a giggle and Seifer continued, kissing on Zell's ear, which was something new. It was too ticklish, and Zell didn't feel much like playing. Tugging on Seifer's jacket, he managed to get the scarred blonde's attention and murmured his request. "Seifer…I want you." The words were heated, but still soft, just like the colors in the background. The ex-knight's breath inhaled shakily and Zell unzipped Seifer's shirt for him. "I want you inside me," he clarified.

"I can't," Seifer responded weakly, suddenly pulling off Zell. "I'll hurt you."

"You 'can't'?" Zell almost yelled in surprise. "I'm your _lovely_, and you can't because you'll _hurt_ me?" Seifer's eyes were confused and afraid, an excuse trying to find its way past his lips. "Tell me my name," Zell asked, quieter.

Seifer looked hopeless. "I…I don't know," he admitted.

Zell felt heartbroken and gathered himself in a ball. "Oh," he stated simply, and the river and sky melted and swirled together as he woke up with a start.

Griever was staring at him, more man than lion at the moment. Zell gave a gasp and Griever smiled, shaking his head. "No harm comes to my Uncles," he stated simply.

"Uncle?" Zell asked, the voice familiar. "Wait…_you _were inside my head?"

"And you can summon me," Griever stated. "Though I would ask you from doing so. I come to you for a request."

Zell nodded, still not sure if this was real or not. "Why now? Don't you exist beyond time and space?"

Griever looked forlorn for a second, then chuckled, patting Zell's head. "Silly Uncle," he said in an almost child-like manner. Zell blinked stupidly. "I can be summoned by you now, though I am not in your head. I wish…you would _not_ summon me, not unless your life is in danger."

Zell shook his head. "I…I don't think I would. You blessed…_us_."

Griever's head cocked like a cat's, and then nodded. "That's right. You and Seifer." Zell cringed and Griever's eyes widened. "Oh. He's not here, is he?"

Zell shook his head, clutching the coat. Griever sat next to him, somehow calming the blonde. "What did he tell you?"

"Someone had to be Ultimacia," Zell stated. "And she was really something. He just…just got to really…before he-" Zell broke off into sobs, and Griever held the blonde, though it was more distant than when Seifer had held him.

"Ah. And…have you felt a pain, Zell? A hideous pain that blinds you?" Zell nodded and his eyes grew wide.

"He's alive!" Zell shouted, hugging Griever with more force than when he had ever hit or kicked the GF. Griever attempted to get air, and when that failed, hissed weakly.

"Yes. That's a trick the spell has. If he cheats, it not only hurts him and whomever he's cheating with, it hurts you- physically." Griever pushed Zell onto the bed. "But he is _not _cheating, Uncle, I promise. Things are not as they seem."

Zell was rocking back and forth with happiness, and Griever sighed. Uncles. "Zell. No summoning me."

Zell nodded, happily singing a song about meadows and flowers and kisses and Seifers. Griever washed his paw, knowing exactly what would occur to Zell and when.

"Wait. Uncle?" Zell asked. "Are we…related?" His eyes were big and blue and huge, and Griever gave a wicked grin.

"Not by blood," he stated, turning into smoke. "But we become close." With that, he disappeared around Zell.

Zell kissed the coat.

Seifer was alive, and damnit, that was all that mattered.

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After his incident with Griever, Zell had clambered into the library (much to the library girl's personal delight). He tried looking up all sorts of things about GFs, or Ultimacia, but it was limited to magazine articles or legends, nothing that helped him.

He rubbed his eyes, looking at the clock. Sighing, he realized the library closed two hours ago. He got up and there was a squeak as the library girl realized she'd been drooling.

"Hey," he stated. "um…" he rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks for lettin' me stay and all." He offered a smile, partly in embarrassment, and she simply nodded and watched him go.

He exited the room, standing in the main lobby and stared at the dolphins. Dolphins, just like his kick. Zell looked at them in almost awe.

"It is good to see you are up, ya know?" came a voice, and Zell turned to see Raijin and Fujin. "You looked so down."

"AGREED," Fujin stated, kicking the staff-fighter for no real reason other than he was there and he was to be kicked.

Zell shrugged. "I…I was told good news," he admitted. "But…I can't prove it yet."

Fujin glared at Raijin, who shrugged. "You win, ya know? Fujin said," Raijin explained, "That Seifer wasn't dead yet, because he's too stubborn to die, ya know?"

Zell nodded, though his heart still ached at the sight of Seifer wounded by his own hands.

"Squall!" A voice screeched, high and frilly. The commander hit the elevator button immediately. Rinoa glared and waves of power forced the doors open and Squall out.

"I say gossip," Fujin whispered to the two, and she and Raijin sneaked behind a potted plant, Raijin the biggest fern and Fujin up in a tree. That explained why all the juicy gossip seemed to have no source, Zell decided, sneaking into the fountain and jumping onto the dolphin fountain.

"I'm pregnant," Rinoa stated a little softer. Squall stood emotionless, not due to practice, but due to a lack of knowledge at which emotion to choose from. She growled. "Say something."

"Are you sure it's me?" Squall asked suddenly, angry. "You sleep with lots of things!"

"What?" She yelled. "Look here, just because you pull out doesn't mean it's a failsafe!"

"At least I don't ask a dog to finish the job!" Squall shot back.

Rinoa fired a thundaga at him. "Well, he's satisfying!" she retorted. Zell restrained the urge to throw up. Gossip or too much information?

Squall coughed blood and sparks for a full minute, and Fujin and Raijin wisely used the time to escape. Zell, however, was stuck in the pool Squall was upchucking the sparks into, so he stayed and waved goodbye. Raijin started to call out goodbye, but Fujin kicked him again.

"How do you know it's mine then?" the commander asked.

"Because I've never gotten pregnant with Angelo! Not once!" Ewww. Sick, Zell decided, picturing Seifer naked in his head rather than listen to the pictures Rinoa was handing him.

"Keep it quiet," Squall told her, and Rinoa slapped him.

"Squall, my power is going to go haywire soon! People will know, and we can't abort it!"

Squall shrugged and walked off, and Rinoa screeched behind him. Zell continued with the naked pictures until the sparks died down, and jumped off. Stretching, he decided it was time for bed- maybe those naked pictures would come in handy. Besides, it was really the next day, and that meant almost nobody was up. He took a step.

Hands shot out from the darkness, trying to place something on his mouth. Zell struggled as a cloth covered it, and a voice came from behind him. "J-ran will be pleased," the man behind him said. Zell pretended to go limp, deciding not to tell the man that he could breathe through his nose and his grip was incredibly weak. The man chuckled as Zell fell into his arms, placing the bottle down. He picked Zell up with both hands-

And Zell flipped him over, getting a good look at his attacker. "_Nida?_" Zell shouted. (1) The shout sent several SeeD running to his position, one being Squall.

"I wondered who the leak was," Squall stated grimly, and the guards pulled Nida to his feet.

Zell leaned back. Bedtime.

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Zell stared at the pilot as Nida withheld his information from J-ran. Squall rubbed his nose and looked at Zell. "You up for this?"

"I'd rather not interrogate him," Zell responded, and Squall sighed.

"We'll give you an hour," Squall told him, and there was a sudden burst from the dorms. "What now?" Squall demanded, and Xu rushed up to the office.

"Sir, it's Rinoa. She's suddenly started spewing waters and frogs." Squall pounded his head on the desk and Zell felt a cold chuckle from Griever. "Sorceresses," Squall muttered.

Nida gave an evil grin as Squall walked away. Though Nida was still in cuffs, Zell suddenly found the situation to be frightening. "I'm supposed to give you to J-ran at four," he stated, almost cooing. Zell shook his head.

"Nida, I'm not going back."

"We need you," Nida stated, grinning. "When the knight's gone his lovely will do, right?" Zell didn't bother correcting Nida on the subject. "We just need Griever."

Zell sat down, staring at him. Nida captured his eyes, and Zell couldn't find it in himself to look away. "Griever holds the key to our Mistress," Nida sated smoothly, and Zell felt his will starting to waver.

"So?"

"Wouldn't you like to see Seifer again? She can do that for you," Nida told him, the same whispering tone of voice that seemed to be familiar. /forget me./ Zell blinked, coherent thought coming and going. _That explains why we forgot this creepy guy…_

"I can see Seifer?" Zell realized, and he jumped out of his chair. Nida chuckled and Zell realized how stupid he'd been.

"Do you want to know where?" Nida cooed, and Zell nodded. "Why, at the car shop in the capital. Tell him I sent you."

Zell shot out the door and into Irvine. The two toppled over into a very awkward position, Zell almost in Irvine's crotch, and Selphie squealed far too high-pitched in delight. "See! I told you he'd be himself in a day!"

The two got up a little shaken, and Zell remembered where he was going. "Gotta go, Selphie," he stated, and Irvine held him by the jacket.

"Hold on there, partner," Irvine stated lazily. "What are you in a hurry for?" Selphie jumped up and down as Zell explained just about everything.

"So I've gotta meet J-ran at four," he stated, and Selphie clapped her hands together.

"I know! Let's bomb the place!"

Zell gave an eyebrow and Irvine gave a grin. "That's a great idea, Sephy!" he remarked.

"I'd be in there," Zell interjected, but Selphie had continued.

"We can wire you to make sure we've got the right place!" Selphie continued, and Zell let himself be led to the explosives room. He was glad for a moment he had such cool friends.

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It was four, but no sign of J-ran. Zell sighed. Perhaps Nida had been wrong. As he'd gone down to the explosives room Squall had yelled at him for letting a prisoner be left unattended. Zell couldn't help it; he'd see Seifer again, and that's what was important.

"Well, well. All by yourself?"

Zell looked up to see J-ran as he slinkily sat next to the Martial Artist. "Hello to you, too," he remarked. J-ran picked up Zell's hands.

"And in your Biker gloves! Oh, little SeeD, you shouldn't have!" J-ran pretended to be exited, and then cast a scan. "Unjunctioned, too? Why, you're just asking to be captured!" J-ran suddenly swung himself over Zell's lap and Zell glared, knowing there was no way J-ran could touch him still.

"Where's Seifer?" Zell demanded. J-ran sighed, as if it were such a frivolous manner.

"Oh, your lover. He's not the same," he stated with a dangerous smirk. "I'd say he's a… completely different person."

Zell threatened to punch him and J-ran chuckled, placing his chin on Zell's shoulder. "You know…I always wanted to have you like this, our positions reversed." He gave another sigh. "But it's too late now, and I suppose it's sleepy time."

Zell growled. J-ran chuckled, running a hand over Zell's chest. Zell winced. This was slightly painful.

"Oh, oopsies," J-ran commented like a school girl. "I forgot." He snapped his fingers and lots of bodyguards emerged, and J-ran's eyes glinted dangerously. "He'll like my catch, don't you think?"

Zell suddenly held J-ran's throat. "I could kill you," he stated angrily, and J-ran laughed again, though the laugh was not strong from the lack of air.

"But…I'm the one you need…to let you see him…" J-ran stated and Zell threw him to the ground.

"No spells," Zell commanded. "Or I'll just ask Nida."

J-ran's face flickered in rage and Zell supposed it was stupid to have said anything about Nida. "Our Nida? Oh, he must have tried to capture you. That probably didn't end up well. He always had his head in the clouds." J-ran took Zell's hand. "Come, Come, then. Into the car we go!" He pulled on Zell's arm, and Zell hoped this was the right move.

"Oh, yes, I'll have you know I'm no longer in charge," J-ran added joyfully. "So don't come to me with more complaints."

But before he could say anything else, sleep was cast on him and he dropped to the ground.

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Zell was aware of his head aching. He was in shakles, he realized, though in the same clothes, and with the wire beating against his chest as he breathed. It was a dark cell, and two men stood guard as several prisoners gave off cries for pity and mercy.

"She does not do mercy," one guard stated. "So this is preparation."

Zell looked around, trying to figure out where he was. He was chained to other people, some men, some women, some animals, some children. The malboro next to him licked his face in approval of his shacklemate and Zell shivered.

"He won't hurt you," a guard said, laughing. "He doesn't have any status effects yet. Too young."

With this information Zell turned to the green thing next to him. "Hey," he stated, and the malboro squealed happily, licking Zell some more.

"Prisoner call," a guard stated, walking into the room. "Zell," he started. Zell blinked.

"Um…that was rather efficient," he remarked as the guards helped him to his feet. He still felt a little weak, but now he just wanted to see Seifer.

"That's how She likes it," the guard stated, dragging Zell into the hall. Zell allowed himself to be lead into a room, with J-ran introducing other prisoners. He clapped his hands as he saw Zell.

"This one I captured for you," J-ran stated to the man next to him.

Zell's heart stopped as he got a good look at the blonde before he was dropped to the ground.

Seifer glared down at him with ice-cold green eyes. His face twisted into a sneer. "So what?" he asked, and Zell's heart shattered.

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Ohoho, I'm mean, leaving you all with that! But, I get reviews, and let's face it people, I like them! I'm not really thrilled with this chapter, but it does what it needs to do and I'm glad for that fact.

Another mean ending. Yay! Oh, wait, boo.

Here's your 1. Remember Nida saying he passed the exam with Squall, Zell and Selphie? Well, the only guy who did that was the creep-o who mumbled over taking over Garden! So I'm always befuddled why he suddenly had a personality change to a pilot. Maybe Nida wasn't that guy at all, maybe he was invisible. But shucks, I was looking forward to seeing Nida conquer garden!

Oh, yes, I really apologize for the Rinoa and Squall bashing. It was completely inappropriate.

But it was fun. XD.


	12. Chapter 12

Peh. I apologize for not knowing Angelo was a girl. I always named him "rinoa's sextoy" so it really didn't occur to me. 'Sides, Squall called it "boy" or something at some part of the game. I was always pissed the stupid dog didn't go into outer space, 'cause then at least Rinoa would have had a _real_ limit break, as oppose to the wings coming out of the back and the stupid waste of magic. There's my excuse, and you can flush it or burn it.

And I apologize for the nightmares some of you will have from the last chapter. Have a man-Adel plushie. Those make me feel better. end shameless plug

Warnings: Amnesia, yaoi, and sad Zell.

Disclaimer: Square owns them and I swear they wire-tap my house.

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12.

Zell allowed himself to be lead into a room, with J-ran introducing other prisoners. He clapped his hands as he saw Zell.

"This one I captured for you," J-ran stated to the man next to him.

Zell's heart stopped as he got a good look at the blonde before he was dropped to the ground.

Seifer glared down at him with ice-cold green eyes. His face twisted into a sneer. "So what?" he asked, and Zell's heart shattered. _Seifer?_ Didn't Seifer know him? Hadn't Seifer been the one who'd been secretly loving him for all those years, giving him those sweet kisses as he slept?

"Seifer?" he whimpered, and the man blinked in confusion. The taller blonde looked at J-ran for an explanation.

"I thought he might suit you…if he pleases you, that is. Otherwise, I'd like your permission to take him." J-ran licked his lips. He'd never been more thankful for that loophole. With the lover's permission you could then fuck the one you wanted to, in case of threesomes or higher.

_Bastard! _Zell thought, lifting his face up to glare at the man. J-ran waved to him, blowing fake kisses. There was a sharp intake of breath and Seifer sat down quickly, holding his head.

"Seifer?" Zell asked, a little louder.

"Hold your tongue!" a guard stated, kicking him. Zell winced though these guards were nothing compared to the ones at D-district. Seifer's eyes suddenly pained and he watched as the guards continued.

Zell said nothing, glaring up at the scarred blonde. _Were you lying when you said you loved me?_ He couldn't think it. Pain filled his eyes and the scarred blonde had to look away.

J-ran noted the sudden change and motioned to the guards to stop. "Does he please you?" he asked very quietly, still manipulative and yet afraid.

"He…" Seifer looked at Zell briefly. "He…" Their eyes met and Zell watched as Seifer managed to calm down. "He pleases me," Seifer told J-ran. "Take him to my room."

J-ran bowed and led Zell away, chuckling to himself. "What a lucky boy you are! Chosen by her knight!" He slipped Zell a wink and as the door shut growled. "Too bad you weren't with me, boy…I could make it worth your while."

"You aren't big enough," Zell remarked coldly.

Seifer watched the boy as he exited the room, done deciding what to do with the prisoners. He had other, more important issues to attend to.

_Those eyes…_ He shook his head. He had never seen the man before, or at least he thought. J-ran had told him he'd grown up raised to be Ultimacia's knight and he'd been attacked by SeeD, and that's why he couldn't remember anything.

But for a moment, his cool had melted. The man bowed before him send waves of affection and lust through him, memories riding the wave just underneath the surface. He could almost feel the man's lips on his as… As…

Maybe the tattooed blonde would help him recover his memories.

The knight couldn't focus on his job, he couldn't do anything but think about the blonde in his room. He tried, really he did, but his thoughts wandered to interesting positions and how many times his new pet would come before the night was done.

He managed to wander back to his room, opening the door carefully so this one wouldn't escape. "Hello?" he called, and he saw a quick yellow flash and placed his hands up in defense.

The ceiling was quite lovely from this angle, he decided. Then kisses decided to attack his neck and for once, it didn't burn. _This is my lovely…_he thought to himself. _J-ran wanted him…! _Anger burst through him and he flipped the man above him on the over. Guilt suddenly ran through him; he'd just hurt his lovely and he didn't even know them.

Instead of anger, there was a giggling. "You remember the first time we kissed, huh? On the floor, like this…"

Seifer sat up. He was supposed to be the leader, he was supposed to be dominant, and now, suddenly, here was this man taking that away! He couldn't remember and it hurt him, it made him feel badly that this man wasn't getting what he deserved. The man sat up and there were those eyes again, and Seifer could just about drown in them. He leaned over to the tattooed blonde and stared with blank eyes, searching them as guilt started to pump through his stomach. He raced for the bathroom.

Zell sat up, confused again and walked over as Seifer started vomiting. He placed his hands on Seifer's back, like he had before, rubbing the back the same way his Ma had done for him.

The backrub brought back a faint memory, Seifer remembered. However, the memory seemed to be laced with guilt and Seifer puked some more. Damnit! Why did he feel guilty for his lovely?

Because his lovely must have been important to him, he told himself. His lovely must have been really someone special, special enough to go through the ritual with. And he couldn't remember this man, and he couldn't remember his sorceress…

He hit his head. J-ran had told him he was quite important, and the leader but it didn't seem to fit. He didn't want to be the leader and he didn't want to be a Knight and the man was there, holding him taking away his insecurities and his fears. "Shh," the man told him, and Seifer looked up pitifully as he decided to be honest.

"I couldn't stand seeing pain in your eyes," he admitted. "I felt sick." The man blinked and cocked his head, a more obvious way to tell that he was confused than a few words. Seifer reached out and touched his face. "Earlier… when J-ran introduced you."

The man bit his lip and Seifer traced the tattoo, a sudden flash of memory appearing. The man was sleeping, and he was speaking, telling the man of how he loved him, knowing the man would never know, and it was for the best. _Why was it for the best?_ The tattoo was familiar, and he looked at it as it revealed another memory. Cover-up, and kisses on the floor- was that what this man had meant? "I don't…"

Zell suddenly held him tighter. "What's my name?" he asked. When Seifer gave no response Zell started crying, making Seifer feel bad again. "I never should have felt you," Zell murmured to the confused, taller blonde. "I should have known you weren't dead."

"Lovely…?" Seifer asked, ashamed of his ignorance. "Don't tell me your name," he stated, quietly. "If I know it, then I'll have remembered." Zell nodded, tears still flowing with hiccups.

"I love you, Seifer," Zell told him, and Seifer blinked at the next memory. _Don't say love._ Maybe this man was good for him. Maybe he could remember with his lovely's help. He petted the blonde in front of him, sudden urges to take the blonde completely gone.

"I'm sure I love you, too," he replied, and the blonde blinked, smiling. Then there was a play hit, one that flashed more faint images.

"What makes you say that?" Zell asked, getting up. It had been the right thing to say.

Seifer smiled. "Well, because I performed the ritual with you, right? So I must have cared for you a lot." Zell smiled and started up the kisses again, and Seifer laid back and enjoyed it. Though there was that awkward metal thing pressing against his chest.

Suddenly, Seifer pulled off Zell's shirt and inspected it. Furiously, he snapped the wire in two and slapped Zell. "Explain this." Though Zell's eyes were hurt, Zell had compromised the safety of everybody here and it would not go unpunished. "You're a SeeD?" Seifer suddenly demanded, getting up and hauling Zell to his feet. "You're a filthy SeeD?"

"I always have been, and you knew it," Zell stated sadly, realizing J-ran's lies must be affecting Seifer deeply. Seifer hit him again, and Zell really did cry again. Seifer didn't remember him, at least, not like this. Seifer forced him into the bedroom and pinned him down on the bed, tying Zell's hands to the headstand.

"You LIAR! I'd never betray my sorceress like that!" Seifer hit Zell again, though this time there was no feeling to it. Zell closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

"I'm not going to leave you, Seifer-"

"Shut up!" Seifer yelled, backing into the wall. This couldn't be happening. He fell in love with a SeeD? He knew this man was a SeeD? He…He'd even…This was far too confusing and he retreated to the other room, shutting the door on the tattooed blonde.

_Think things through, _Seifer told himself. _J-ran tried to molest you. J-ran wants you, needs you for this. This man…has…well, he's my lovely, and I'd trust him enough back then, so I should trust him now, but she…_

_She has yet to rise. I need to get her to rise, and then she'll take over, and I can settle things down with the…SeeD. _

Seifer nodded and got a glass of water, wondering what he should do. He didn't trust himself now to go back into the room- he might do something to hurt his SeeD. Seifer chuckled. _My SeeD. I've really got it bad, huh?_ He took a sip, trying not to listen to the soft wails or hiccups obviously hidden so he wouldn't hear. Yet they came and surrounded him and that guilty feeling rose up again. He moved to the bathroom, closing the door.

"Hyne," he muttered, setting down the water. He couldn't hear the SeeD with the door shut, so he sat down in the tub and sighed. His SeeD would need cleaning and his SeeD would need fed and his SeeD would have to use the bathroom at some point, and he didn't feel like keeping the blonde tied to the bed anyway.

_"People don't understand her," _J-ran had told him. _"Really, they have her to thank for everything that's happened. If she wasn't here, maybe someone else would have found that machine. If she wasn't here, your commander wouldn't have met his girlfriend, right? You wouldn't have found your lovely."_

_"I have a lovely?"_

Seifer shook his head. The world needed someone, now, to help them and command them around, uniting them. The world needed someone to help stop SeeD from the evils that they would do in the future. The glass was lifted up again and Seifer drank the cool liquid. This hurt, being torn between his sorceress and his lovely.

The cries had stopped and Seifer opened the door, leaving the glass. His lovely was breathing deeply now, and Seifer moved into the bedroom to catch a glance. Beautiful, he decided. His lovely's body was partially twisted as the man slept, having cried himself to sleep.

_"Seifer, I'm cold."_

He looked up, glaring at the man for speaking such innuendos. But his lovely slept on, and he realized it was another memory. Sighing, he undid the rope and stared at Zell's arms as he placed them gently on the covers. They were muscular, though it wasn't too apparent. The tattooed blonde was strong, he had no doubt, and probably stronger than he was. Suddenly he had a flash of the blonde fighting nothing, fists swiping the air and it was rather annoying, breaking everyone else's concentration.

He grinned to himself, pulling off his boots and his coat. It was unbearable to leave his blonde any longer, and so he clambered into bed, wrapping his arms around the blonde and somehow, it felt right for once.

Zell's eyes opened slightly as he realized Seifer was holding him. By no means was Seifer asleep and Zell was probably halfway there already. Remembering the hits Seifer had given him he scooted away, only to be drawn back towards Seifer's chest. Zell gave a whine and scooted almost off the bed, and suddenly Seifer's breath hitched.

"Will you come back if I say I'm sorry?" the breath asked above his ear, and Zell shivered. That felt good, even if it was air. He nodded slightly, and Seifer cast a cure before his apology.

Zell happily returned without Seifer forcing him to and snuggled into Seifer's chest. He'd missed this, if only for one night.

… / … / … / … / … / … / …

… / … / … / … / … / … / …

… / … / … / … / … / … / …

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…

Seifer awoke the next day, Zell still sleeping in his arms. Glancing at the clock, he groaned. It was still early in the morning, and later today he'd have to find a proper summoning place for Griever.

Zell made a soft noise and he smiled to himself. He couldn't help but trace those muscles, and he found his hand sliding on his lovely's chest.

Zell's head moved and he mumbled something that sounded like, "dnooatwhngtmrninood." Seifer chuckled, nibbling on the outer shell of Zell's ear. Zell made more squeaking sounds and Seifer stopped. "What?" he asked, and Zell groaned, taking one of Seifer's hands under the blankets.

_Oh,_ Seifer realized. He started to stroke Zell's heat, which was rewarded with several soft pants and sighs and many nuzzles. Oddly enough, Seifer didn't think about his own- if he had it or not. Maybe it was the amnesia. All Seifer could care about was holding and pleasing the blonde in his arms. Zell gasped his name and then spilled into the sheets, and Seifer was thankful he had them changed everyday. His lovely then moved his arm over Zell's neck and nuzzled into it.

It was so wonderful, this feeling, and Seifer could only listen to it as he held Zell with the other hand. Zell's eyes opened slightly for the first time and he smiled. "You've never done that before," he remarked, and then thought decided to enter his head. He scooted away from the other blonde, and Seifer didn't like that, not at all. Forcefully he grabbed Zell's hand and pulled Zell to him, holding him tightly. Zell struggled, but only in half-attempt; half of him wanted to flee, half of him wanted to stay.

"I want to hold you," Seifer whispered to him, and Zell shivered as he stopped struggling. "Maybe I don't remember, but I do feel emotion for you."

Zell smiled sadly, thinking. "I love you, Seifer," he whispered and the guilt came back.

Seifer rested his head upon Zell's and Zell looked up at him. "Do…do you remember anything?" he asked.

"I remember you, only briefly. Watching you as you sleep, a kiss, tiny pieces here and there." Seifer squeezed Zell tightly. "You were important to me."

Somehow the words comforted the smaller blonde and Zell sighed. He'd thought this never possible again; Seifer holding him. And yet, here Seifer was, and Zell was never happier.

SeeD was going to attack again, his mind told him cheerfully. You planted the wire.

"Shit," Zell whispered and Seifer cocked his head. "Seifer, my wire-"

"I've taken care of it. Your SeeD won't attack like they did again." Seifer kissed along Zell's neck and for a moment, Zell was convinced Seifer did indeed recognize him. "Seify," Zell murmured.

" 'Seify'?" Seifer asked, blinking. "We…we have pet names?" Zell laughed and pulled out of Seifer's arms and pinned down the older blonde with his body by sitting on him. Seifer stroked a knee. This was arousing.

"Nah. It was your nickname at the orphanage. We grew up…a lot, actually, together." Zell started to undo his shirt, and Seifer closed his eyes, trying to remember.

With Zell…Zell was crying. Suddenly all sorts of faces appeared in his head; all of Zell, all of Zell crying, just at different ages and all caused by him. Seifer looked away, and Zell lay on top of him, his head on Seifer's pillow. "Did I always hurt you?"

"Nah." Zell told him, throwing his hand in Seifer's face. "You inspired me…along with Grandpa, of course, to choose my weapon. I didn't want to ever be with a weapon if I could be disarmed, and I wanted to choose a weapon I had complete control over. 'Cause I never had control of my emotions, you did. And damn, baby, you've made me feel just about everything."

"Baby?" Seifer asked, realizing Zell was ready to go at it again. "Baby?"

Zell grinned evilly before moving downwards, and Seifer wasn't about to ask what Zell was doing. Suddenly his lovely was returning the favor, and all he could say was a single name that made no sense. "Zell…"

With that he spilled and the blonde returned to his sitting position. Zell was quite happy. "Seems you remember my name, huh?" he stated, and Seifer blinked.

"Zell?"

Zell nodded proudly. Seifer pulled Zell to him, kissing him in time with saying his name. Blushing, Zell pulled away- he'd been trying to help Seifer remember, not…not…

Well, this was turning out to be a morning play-time session.

Seifer chuckled as he saw Zell's lips, wiping the last bit of come off. "I think it suits you," he stated, and Zell blushed. He was beautiful when he did that, Seifer decided. "I think I'll give her my thanks for you when I see her."

"Her?" Zell asked, suddenly getting up. "Ultimacia?"

"Sure," Seifer remarked, not realizing Zell's terror. "I mean, without her, we'd never have done the ritual, right?" He kissed Zell and then moved to the bathroom, leaving the door open in case they'd done that, too, before he lost his memory.

Zell however, was sitting on the bed, quietly thinking that the pieces were falling in front of him. If Ultimacia _hadn't_ existed….Seifer wouldn't have ever told him. SeeD was created for Ultimacia, and then he'd never meet Seifer again, he'd just be taken to his Ma's and Pa's and then Seifer would do his own thing…maybe even end up with Rinoa. Zell shivered. Really, they had a lot to thank her for.

Zell's eyes closed and he could see Ultimacia's gaze, with her war-painted face and her silver hair. Her golden eyes looked sad and her black wing was shaking, but not with anger. Quietly, he opened his eyes, and for a moment, he could see her- a sad hand reaching out to his face and then it was gone. Griever seemed to howl in the back of his mind, the way he had when they fought.

:I'll protect you, my lovely.:

Then the voices left and Seifer emerged from the shower, wondering why his lovely was crying now. "What's wrong?" he asked, more disappointed they hadn't taken showers together when he had his memory than why his lovely was crying.

"I never saw it before," Zell stated, crawling into Seifer's arms. "I always thought she was just evil. But she was sad, and Griever was sad, and if they were sad they couldn't have been all evil, right?" He looked up at confused green eyes. "What if she didn't want to rule the world? I mean, she had time compression and it really didn't do too much for her. She complained she didn't have it, but how else could we get there?"

Seifer said nothing, wondering why these thoughts had never occurred to him, or J-ran before.

_Is this the path you wish to take, even when you know you kannot go back?_

_You do not have to protect me, my knight. You should know better than I that you are free to go when you wish._

_"Fool," she stated, but she was concerned, hoping he'd live through what he was about to do next. _

Seifer pulled on his pants, getting dressed. Zell had gone into the shower, realizing Seifer was regaining memories.

His cheek was wet. Had Zell kissed him?

…

…

…

…

Whoo. Yes, Zell kissed him. No tears. I promise.

Only a few more chapters to go, probably one or two. So, yes, Seifer wasn't really a sorceress... I admit, I tried to play that up last chapter 'cause Adel told me to. I swear.

I like an amnesiac Seifer. Maybe I should try it with Zell….

Hmm….

Nah, now I'm just being creepy fun. I think you all can guess the ending about now, but please still read! Maybe there will be sex! Maybe there will be bunnies! Maybe there will be drugs! You never know.

I hope you all stay for the final chapter (s)!

-Delta Immortal


	13. Chapter 13

Seifer hadn't come back yet, and he'd _promised_ he'd be back for lunch. The clock was ticking away and Zell was worried; worried Seifer didn't care, or that Seifer had summoned Griever or that Seifer was dead or trapped. Zell would have gone out to look for him, of course, but Seifer had tied his foot to the couch and while Zell could drag the couch, it wouldn't fit out the door, which made Zell wonder how on earth it had managed to get in this room in the first place.

He could still feel where Seifer had nuzzled him goodbye, ignoring his pleas to not summon Griever. Seifer's eyes had turned cold and the older blonde had walked out of the room, flicking the lights off. Zell had cried softly for a while after that, reminding himself that this was not his Seifer, it was simply Seifer who'd forgotten everything. He'd spent several hours just waiting; Seifer's clock now read that the time was fourteen hours, which meant it was two pm.

The door opened and Zell turned to see an angry Seifer. Zell watched as Seifer hissed angrily and pulled Zell up by the arm. "Let's go," he told Zell.

"Go where?" Zell asked, not really feeling like being helpful as he locked his legs. Seifer was hurting him as Seifer tugged the smaller blonde, forgetting about the sofa momentarily.

"We're summoning Griever before your people attack her again." Seifer angrily responded, cursing as Zell's sofa wouldn't fit through the door. "Damnit, can't you do anything right?"

Zell punched him and climbed over the sofa and blocked the door. "You're an asshole, more than my Seifer was!" he shouted. "You're just a jerk!"

"I have to do this!" Seifer called back to him. "I've got to summon her back!" There was beating on the sofa and Zell was tempted to lower it so he could beat Seifer again.

"Why? Maybe she should stay dead!" Zell kicked at the sofa and felt both angry and like crying. "You were never like this!"

"Oh, what was I? Did I put you above my mission?" Seifer yelled back, firing his gunblade into the sofa. It blew past Zell's ear, and Zell dropped, the reality startling him. Seifer _never_ had placed Zell before a mission. It was always finish the mission and then worry about Zell. Suddenly Zell felt stupid.

Seifer never had cared. J-ran could have been lying to him and maybe Seifer felt affection, but that didn't mean Seifer loved him. He'd been forgiving since Seifer lost his memory, but wouldn't this mean this was the way Seifer would be normally?

Seifer picked up on the lack of retort and suddenly pushed the sofa down, and Zell stepped out of the way as it crashed into the floor. Seifer looked at him and then suddenly took Zell's head and Zell realized the bullet had grazed him. Seifer fell silent, thinking along the same lines Zell was as he cut the rope with his blade and took Zell by the hand and lead him to the car. Zell followed, unemotional for once. There wasn't a reason; he'd fallen in love with someone who really didn't care when it came down to it, and it hurt- badly. Seifer told the driver where to go and Zell looked out the window.

"Zell…" Seifer stated softly, but Zell didn't look back at him. This cold side of Zell hurt, and Seifer wondered if he'd just fucked things up permanently. He was afraid- he needed Zell out of the building and quickly.

The building exploded, causing the man to jump and Seifer's point to be proven. He was just in a hurry to get Zell out of the building before SeeD bombed it. He'd even seen the bomber, some girl in a yellow dress with ox-bow hair who'd been too busy playing with her explosives to see him.

Zell turned to him, and Seifer pulled an unwilling blonde into his chest. "We heard SeeD would bomb the building," he explained softly. "And if I told you they might blow it up faster."

Zell closed his eyes, suddenly regretting all the thoughts he had earlier. Seifer had saved his life again. Seifer asked a question. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, and Zell nodded.

"You almost put me above your mission once," Zell told him. "That's how we ended up bonding." Seifer bit his lip and held his little blonde closer to him. No wonder his fiery blonde had suddenly gotten a case of ice-cold.

"Zell…I want to summon Griever. I'm not sure why, but maybe not for me, maybe not for J-ran, but something tells me I need to speak to him." Seifer looked at him and Zell blinked.

"Oh," Zell stated. "Are you sure?"

Seifer nodded enthusiastically. "I'm quite sure. But it's…it's like I don't want Griever to be found." He looked at Zell, one of those deep-gazing things. "Tell me what I should do."

Zell watched, finding no trace of dishonesty in his eyes. "I think we should meet J-ran, and maybe we could…I dunno…kill him." Anger flashed through Zell's eyes, and Seifer wasn't going to question it. "But that means we'd have to play along, if only for a little while, and summoning Griever's a definite no… Gah," Zell stated, exasperated. "I'm not sure; maybe this is why I'm not a good SeeD. Too many choices…"

"Let's play along, then. SeeD will follow us soon." Seifer gave Zell one of those winks that made Zell wonder if Seifer had called them. "I'll believe you," Seifer whispered to the blonde softly, so if they were microphoned in their back compartment no one could hear. Zell squeezed his hand.

"That means a lot, Seifer," Zell told him, and Seifer chuckled, kissing Zell softly.

The car made it to the pre-ordained spot where J-ran was waiting. "Hurry, then!" J-ran told Seifer, and Seifer stepped out of the car. "SeeDs coming, they're always one step behind!"

Seifer looked at Zell, then at J-ran. "How do you know she wants-"

"I don't give a damn what she wants! Think of her power, if you were junctioned to her!" J-ran slapped him and pointed a gun at the blonde emerging from the car. "Do it or your fucktoy dies!"

Zell cast a stop on the man before anyone could speak. Seifer continued the chaos with a sudden quake that made most followers leave, and Zell punched a hitman in the face. They were causing more ruckus than a nudist at the Oscars.

Suddenly Zell felt someone behind him, casting an areo. Zell gave J-ran a kick and watched as the man flew back. That's when the SeeD cars arrived, and Squall gave a wave to the blonde.

"Seifer?" he asked, looking at the newly appointed leader. "You're…alive?"

"No thanks to you," Zell muttered, taking Seifer's hand. "Mine." Seifer shrugged. That's the way life went, he guessed. "Now, if you can finish taking care of this misfits, Seifer and I have somewhere to be."

Seifer waved a goodbye as Zell got into an empty SeeD car and drove off into the plains. Zell said nothing for the longest time, the radio playing "eyes on me" the entire way. It was as if Julia was the only famous singer the world had.

Seifer watched the plains as flickers of his memories came back to him. An angry Zell. The lunatic pandora. Ultimacia.

But it wasn't enough, not enough to grasp who he was completely.

"Zell?" Seifer asked, and Zell turned to look at him, and turned back when his hands steered the car off-road. Seifer continued his question. "Why did you love me?"

Zell gave a short laugh, thinking on it. "I'm not sure," Zell stated finally. "I think it had something to do with the fact that you weren't such an asshole, you know? You were decent… and you kept giving me kisses in the night. You gave me support when I needed it the most, and I'm grateful for it. You knew just what to say. I mean," Zell slowed down and took a turn on a dusty road that seemed the road less taken, "I always liked you. You showed me how nice you could really be under all those…layers."

Seifer nodded, Zell's explanation making him feel happy but not really helping his case whatsoever. Finally, Zell slowed down and turned off the engine. "Think we're far enough?"

Seifer nodded as they both got out of the car, and Zell faced the clouds, his eyes glazed with concentration. The clouds grew dark and there was a chuckle.

:Well done, Uncles. You've made this much simpler than what it could have been.:

Griever appeared and Zell smiled to it. "I'd like to speak with your lovely, Griever."

_Griever has a lovely?_ Seifer thought, completely confused at Zell's thoughts. Griever paused and nodded. :Unjunction.: Griever stated, and suddenly, a woman dressed in a simple black dress with white hair and golden eyes emerged, staring at Seifer with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen. Ultimacia, he realized, and she took a step behind Griever.

Zell sat down. "It's okay," he told her. "I don't feel like fighting, how about you?"

Ultimacia said nothing, not quite believing the small blonde. Zell sighed as he realized he was going to have to explain himself _again_. This was just a too much thinking day. "See, I think, in the future, people will be angry with this Ultimacia. People will hate her and fear her, and really, they should be happy, right? I mean, without you, none of this would have happened, none of this would have come through. Maybe Seifer would still have his memory-"

"Hey now," Seifer interjected.

"but we wouldn't be together like this. I'd never realize what he meant to me. So, I wanted to say thank you for being Ultimacia." Zell scratched the back of his head. "um…And it was an honor to fight you an' all, though you did kinda hurt us a lot."

There was a genuine smile on the sorceress's lips, and she leaned into the big fur-beast next to her. "Thank you, Uncle Zell," she told him. "I'm glad that someone understands." She looked at her ex-knight, and her smile faded. "And you've lost what was most precious to you, haven't you?"

Seifer nodded blankly. The white-haired woman sighed and walked over to him, her long black wings stretching to gain what light they could in the real sunlight. She touched his face and Seifer gasped, all memory coming back to him. As his eyes remembered her she junctioned herself back to Griever, perhaps feeling far too ashamed to continue talking.

:It was fun, Uncles, but now I must leave.: Griever gave a bow and Seifer sighed as he left both their minds, not a sign the bond had been broken, but that it was strong enough.

"Damnit, Seifer," Zell told him finally, "You fucking hurt me."

"I'm sorry," Seifer admitted quietly to him, "I didn't remember." He paused, and gave a smirk. "Maybe I don't remember _everything_…"

Zell looked up. "Wha? Like what?"

Seifer paused and pretended to think. "Like those noises you make when you come. See, I _think_ I do, but I'm not sure, so…"

Zell got up and hit him. "You ass." He walked into the car, locking the doors.

"Hey!" Seifer called out, trying the doors. "Hey, put those clothes back…no, you can take that off." Seifer whined, it was getting darker up here and he wanted inside with his Zell and he wanted to let Zell know he was truly, truly sorry.

But that was pointless, for maybe Zell didn't always think about things, like why he should listen to Odine, or why Squall handed him papers that told him exactly what to do, but Zell understood emotion and he unlocked the doors, and there were no apologies needed.

…

End.

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…

Well, that was also a bad chapter beginning. I no liked it, but it really wouldn't come out any other way. Forgive me. It is done, and I liked the end. Maybe not… hmmm… That's why I have you guys, to tell me what you think! Thanks for staying with the story!


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